Adoption | Wide Awake Family

A Love Story, Part 2

Posted on September 3, 2015 by kimnjed

This is the second part in a series about our adoption story. You can read Part One here.

After God turned our hearts to Ukraine, and orphans with special needs there, we knew we had to go check it out for ourselves. I remember the first time we visited Romaniv in 2012. We saw Vladik there and our hearts were touched because we saw that he had Apert Syndrome like Jonah, the boy we had loved. I even wrote a bit about him here. Then, as you know, we ended up moving to Ukraine in November of 2013. YAY!

After our move we began to visit Romaniv every week with MTU (Mission to Ukraine) and grew to love all the boys. The boys in the Isolation Hall were our main focus and every week our love for them deepened as we came to know them more.

We loved Vladik very much, but honestly, not any differently than any of the other boys. I guess he held a special place in our hearts because of Jonah, but we weren’t considering adoption at all. I promise! Ha! We had ended up adopting our Seth before we moved and felt that someday we would adopt again, and most likely that would be a Ukrainian adoption, but the idea was far away in the future. We did not even remotely think about adopting one of our boys. I mean, how could you pick just one, when our biggest dream is that they would all know the love of a family? Yeah, not happening.

Then came MTU summer camp. The last two summers our family has had the EXTREME pleasure of serving at camps for kids with disabilities, put on by Mission to Ukraine, one of our non-profit partner here in Zhytomyr.

They have loved our Vladik for many years. Just look at these pictures!

MTU actually plays a giant role in every part of this adoption. We came to Zhytomyr to volunteer for MTU. We heard about the work they were doing at Romaniv and longed to be a part of it. They had been visiting the boys for several years before we came along. If it weren’t for God leading us to MTU there is no doubt in my mind- we would not know Vladik. 🙂 THANK YOU MTU!!!!

Anyway, every year Romaniv sends 6 boys to MTU’s camp, along with one of the nannies. This is outrageously amazing for our boys. They never ever leave the grounds of Romaniv. It is their entire world. But, every summer 6 boys get to escape for 8 days and truly LIVE.

They are treasured at camp. They laugh at camp. They play at camp. It’s like Disneyland on steroids for these boys. We were at camp last July waiting for the bus to arrive from Romaniv and who, to our enormous surprise, stepped off the bus? VLADIK! We had no idea any of our boys from Isolation were coming!!!! Vladik had never been to camp before! We were so happy!!!!

You guys, Vladik did so great at camp. Oh my word. He started out the week with many institutional behaviors (screaming at the wrong time, loud noises at inappropriate times…) but after only 2 days at camp those behaviors were gone. He was trying to sing the songs and do the motions. He was doing his best at the games. He was sitting quietly during lessons. He gained new words every day. It was so beautiful.

The most unexpected and most beautiful thing for Jed and me was how Vladik connected with our kids. Addy and Ezra had met him at Romaniv before camp, and Vladik had immediately taken a liking to Ezra. Vladik likes most people, but for some reason (God) he really latched on to Ezra during the couple of times Ez came to Romaniv. That relationship only grew at camp- and the feeling was mutual. Ez was drawn to Vladik and really began to love him.

One night toward the end of camp, I was putting the kids to bed in our room and all the lights were out. Jed was away and the kids and I were talking about our day. I asked them each what was the best moment of their day and the most difficult moment of their day. That day the camp had held Special Olympics, so there was a lot of great moments to talk about. When it came to my turn to share Ezra piped up, “Mom, I bet I know what your hardest moment was. When the Romaniv boys were getting their medals at Olympics I saw you crying. I bet that was hard for you.” I answered him that that moment was actually my best and most difficult moment all at once. It was the best because I saw all the joy on the boys’ faces and I was so happy to see them so happy. But it was the hardest because they were the only campers who didn’t have a mommy to walk them up to the front to get their medal. I was sad because I knew they were going home tomorrow and I knew that their home was not a good place.

All of a sudden, in the dark room I heard a weeping, almost a wailing coming from one of the beds. It was Ezra! “Ezra! What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Mommy, why? Why do the boys have to live there? Why do they have no mommy? It’s not fair. I don’t want them to go back there! Why does Vladik have to live there? He’s my friend. How long is he gonna have to wait till his family finds him?”

Pretty soon all four of my kids were weeping. Their hearts were broken for the boys. In that moment they really got it. They really began to understand why we live here in Ukraine. They began to understand why we sold everything and came to love these boys. Ezra said “Mom, we can never leave Ukraine. The boys need us!”

That camp, that night, our kids fell in love with Vladik. That night my heart began to shift. I began to see Vladik in a new way. I shared the story with Jed and he cried. We could barely stand to see him get on that bus to head back to Romaniv. Something was stirring. God was up to something!!

PS: Thank you MTU for the pics of Vladik when he was little 🙂

A Love Story, Part 1

Posted on September 1, 2015 by kimnjed

This is the first in a series of posts about our adoption story. It’s a miraculous story and I pray God uses it to speak to other families who are considering adoption. So many boys and girls like our Vladik wait and wait for their lives to begin. Every child deserves the love of a family. Would you read with an open heart and ask God how He would have you respond?

This is a love story. For God so loved Vladik, that He preserved his life until the day his mommy and daddy would find him. For God so loved our family, that He picked us up out of our lives and dropped us across the world so that we could find our baby.

One night, in August 2010, with newborn Seth, our foster baby asleep at my side, I was browsing online. I have no idea what I was looking for, but somehow I came across the blog of a woman who had just returned from Ukraine, having adopted two little girls with Down Syndrome. Her story caught my attention and I ended up reading her whole adoption story in one evening. One blog led to another, which led to another, and pretty soon I found myself immersed in a world I had had no idea existed, the world of special needs adoption. My heart was broken in two, never to be the same.

Jed and I always knew we would adopt someday. We believed in orphan care and it was important to us. Since before we were married we had dreamed of moving overseas to care for orphans. That’s why I became a nurse! While we waited for God to send us overseas we fostered medically fragile babies. So yeah, adoption was on our radar, but not orphans with disabilities, or kids with disabilities in general. We just hadn’t thought of it. Well, maybe that’s not all true. We had thought of it, and then rejected it. “Yes, we’ll adopt- but only healthy kids. We could never raise a child that would require our hands-on care forever.” We fostered babies with special needs, but that wasn’t permanent.

Jed with baby Seth, during our fostering days 🙂

A while later I came upon Julia’s blog. Julia was advocating, and still does advocate, for orphans with disabilities. Fun Fact: We have since met each other twice here in Ukraine, and Julia even got to come to Romaniv to meet our Boys! Isn’t God fun? Julia was advocating for a little guy in Ukraine with Apert Syndrome. Did you know our new son Vladik has this same syndrome? Like I said, God is fun 🙂 I had never heard of that syndrome, didn’t know anything about it, but that boy struck me. I read her post and learned that he was 4 years old and about to be transferred to a bad place- an institution. He needed to be adopted quickly. I’m telling you what, I fell for that baby hard. Jed came home one night to a red-faced, sobbing wife and was a little confused. Ha! I started rambling to him about Ukraine and orphans with disabilities and mental institutions and teenagers in cribs and “aging out” and he stood there shocked. I told him “We have to DO SOMETHING. We can’t just sit by and let this happen. We have to do something!!!” He was a little shell shocked, but agreed to pray about it and see if God laid it on his heart as well. What a guy. 🙂

In the meantime “Jonah”, the little Apert guy was constantly on my mind. His face was in my dreams. I would weep over him and all the little ones in cribs as I did the dishes. My heart ached and the ache wouldn’t stop. The Holy Spirit was at work. God was working in Jed’s heart too, and soon we were both praying about how to respond to Jonah, specifically. We prayed for many months. We sought council from our parents and our pastor. We prayed some more. Then in early 2011, after much prayer, many miracles and confirmations (SO MANY), it became abundantly clear that God was asking us to move forward to adopt Jonah.

The first photo we saw of Jonah

We were so excited!!! This sweet one who had captured our hearts would be our son! Gone were the worries about raising a child who would need our care forever. We could have cared less. All of our old worries and hesitations seemed so selfish. In the light of what these babies suffer without a mommy and daddy to fight for them, in the light of what Jesus did for us…how could I be worried about losing our “empty nester” years??? Our baby needed us.

So, we sent in the initial committment paperwork and money to say to the adoption world “You don’t need to advocate for this one anymore, we’re coming for him!” In Ukraine there is no referral given to adoptive families before they travel. You can pursue the adoption of a certain child, but until you actually get to Kyiv and request their file there is no guarantee that you will actually get that child. Another family could go there first and adopt them, not knowing your intentions. You could get there and that child may not even be adoptable. There are many unknowns. We were aware of that, but when we got the email a few weeks after we had sent in our initial paperwork, letting us know that another American family who was already in Ukraine was adding our boy to their adoption, we were utterly devastated.

Shocked. Heartbroken. Confused. Happy for our Jonah, that he could have a mommy and daddy so soon, but heartsick that they were not us.

We had loved Jonah from afar for many months and now we would never even get to meet him. God had spoken so clearly. We had researched the heck out of Apert Syndrome and felt so well-equipped. Miracles had paved the way for us to begin the adoption process. God, what was that all about? What were you doing? Why?

Then God spoke again. Jed was out mowing the lawn, praying, asking God what He was up to and he felt God speak to Him so clearly,

“Jed, I am so much more interested in the process than in the end result. You have one end result in mind, but I’m taking you on a journey. I needed you to love Jonah like a father. I needed you to love him with abandon. I needed you to have that father’s heart for Jonah because I need you to love lots of little boys and girls like Jonah.”

And so it happened that a little boy with Apert Syndrome caught our hearts and led us to Ukraine. A little boy with Apert Syndrome broke our hearts for Ukrainian orphans. He helped us to fall in love with children with disabilities- so in love that we would give up everything and cross the world to touch them and smile at them and hold them in our arms. God used Jonah to start us on the best journey of our lives- the journey to our Boys and our own little treasure, our Vladik.

To be continued 🙂

Introducing…

Posted on August 31, 2015 by kimnjed

Vladislav Christopher Johnson- orphan no more!

Today, in a courtroom in Romaniv, Ukraine, Vladik was legally declared to be our son. We are officially a family of seven!

Ours was the first international adoption in the town of Romaniv and we are praying it helps to pave the way for many more to come after us. The court went well and although it was a long, serious affair, there was nothing scary or tense about it. All the parties represented agreed that our family adopting Vladik was in his best interest. The representative from the orphanage said “You can see they love him like parents. It’s almost like he’s already a part of their family!”

Ain’t that the truth.

Remember when I wrote this post about Vladik being found by a super lucky family? So yeah, the secret’s out: we are that most lucky family. It was KILLING us to keep the secret for all those months. Whew! I’m so glad we can now share our joy with the world.

The story of how we came to adopt Vladik is wonderful and beautiful, and tomorrow I’ll begin to share it all with you.

Now we have a 10-day wait (Ukrainian law), and then we will be able to take Vladik out of the orphanage FOREVER.

The first of our Boys, redeemed.

Once he was abandoned, but today he is a beloved son, brother, grandson, nephew, and cousin.

Our hearts are full and we pray many families will come after us. Our Boys are absolutely treasures. How blessed are we that God gave one of those precious treasures to us for our very own?? We are the luckiest.

Praise God. He sets the lonely in families!!!!

On the Way

Posted on August 29, 2015 by kimnjed

Where in the world is the Johnson Fam? Are you finding it impossible to keep up with all our comings and goings and craziness? Yeah, me too. 🙂 I did a big catch-up post here, for the curious.

I’m sitting in the Houston Airport, on my way back to Ukraine for adoption court. YES! Jed is already back in Ukraine working away with our Boys, moving out of our house, and spending lots of quality time with our soon-to-be-son. Our other kiddos are back in Salem at some wonderful friends’ house. Grammy (Jed’s mommy) flew to Oregon from Montana to care for them while I’m gone for court. So, we’re all spread out for now, but it’s all gonna be worth it, because soon our son will be OUT forever!!! I hope and pray all goes well at court on Monday and I can do a big, fat introduction/birth announcement.

We arrived in the US as a family on August 11th and had the most wonderful 10 days together before Jed flew back to Ukraine. It was just pure awesomeness.

We only pack the necessities

Ol’ Faithful mustache tape has served us well

At the airport in Kyiv!

You know, I had read lots of missionary/expat tips on how to re-enter the US after being away for a while, and they all recommended heading someplace that is not your home base and just being together as a family before seeing family and friends. All the recommendations talked about how it is helpful just to decompress as a family, get over jetlag without demands on your attention and all that. I thought it sounded like a great idea, but not great on the ol’ budget. Well, God totally took care of that! A wonderfully generous couple from Ventura, CA whom we had NEVER MET gave us their house for 5 days. They left and just let us take over their beautiful home and it was the hugest blessing ever!!! We went to the beach (where Jed and I proceeded to win the worst parents in the world award by letting our kids get completely fried…oops #babylobsters), we watched tons of movies, we oogled over Target and Trader Joes, I read and read and read some more, and the icing on the cake: Jed and I got to go see my brother star in a musical in La Jolla. It was AWESOME. Thank you Dan and Jeannie for blessing us so completely.

Jet lag is a beast!

I’m so proud of my brother!

After our 5 day rest, my family drove down and we all met in Anaheim for 4 days of Disney!!! My heaven! Haha! My parents had been saving and planning for this family trip for 2 years and it was absolutely perfection. Seriously. It could not have been better!

We did two days of Disneyland and two days of California Adventure and we loved every second of it. My parents rented a house with a pool so every day we would come back in the afternoon and the kids would swim with their cousins. Best.trip.ever. Thank you Mom and Dad for that most wonderful, memorable gift!

Gotta represent Wide Awake! 🙂

Jed flew back to Ukraine on our last day of Disney and the kids and I flew up to Oregon. Then it was school registration (EEK!) and school supply shopping and embassy document notarizing and health insurance document mailing and doctor’s office calling and soon-to-be-son clothes shopping and back-to-America-culture-shocking (more on that later). I pretty much ran around like a chicken with my head cut off, so it’s lucky that Grammy arrived when she did to save my children from their crazy mommy! 😉

Seth forgot about booster seats. Ha!

My kids were FASCINATED and in awe of the cereal aisle

A once in a lifetime experience: they each got to pick out their own cereal.

We’ve been so busy we even lost a tooth!

The kids insisted we walk to the library instead of driving. “We don’t want to lose our Ukrainian legs Mom!”

We are so blessed and SO excited to be just about done with this legal stage of the adoption. We’re ready for the family stage now. Our mommy and daddy hearts are positively busting at the seams. We are so close! The kids are doing amazing. They are so flexible and adaptable and brave. They want their brother home super bad too.

Soon, baby soon!!

The Crazy Awesomeness that is our Summer Plans

Posted on June 23, 2015 by kimnjed

Summer is in full swing around here and it kind of feels like we’re on a roller coaster at this point. We know we’re safe, we’re all buckled in, but it’s moving a little too fast for comfort and we kinda want it to slow down, but it’s also really good and all the spins are kind of fun, we we don’t want it to stop.

There’s a lot going on and there’s about to be a lot MORE going on, so I better fill you in while I have the chance. HOLYMOLY.

We have a volunteer arriving on Sunday and she’ll be here for 3 weeks! Sara is a massage therapist and works at a community for adults with special needs in Arizona. She will be helping us implement massage at Romaniv and will be doing some teaching for the nurse there. We are excited to have her along on this crazy journey. I’m super interested to see how the boys do with massage! I’m anticipating a strong learning curve…hehe THISCOULDGETINTERESTING.

On July 7th we’ll head to Mission to Ukraine’s yearly summer camp for kids with disabilities. There will be two camps and we will volunteer at both of them. Camp was the highlight of our family’s year last year, so we are very excited to do it again. Woot! We’ll basically be there for the month of July. MTU camp is like my heaven. ILOVEITSOMUCH.

On July 13th we’ll take a little leave from camp because we have our appointment in Kyiv to request our referral and officially begin the adoption process here in country!!! Yes!!! Our adoption dossier was accepted and we are ultra, mega, outrageously excited to get this show on the road. If all goes well we should have our son out of the orphanage and in our arms by the end of August! CAN’TCOMESOONENOUGH.

After the adoption is complete we will all head to the US for our first visit as a family since our move here in 2013. Our new son will need to go to the US in order to become a citizen, and he also needs quite a bit of medical care, so off we go! Actually, before we ever moved to Ukraine we had decided that August 2015 would be the time for all of us to come back to the US to visit family, friends, and supporters. We just had no idea we’d also be bringing back another child! BIGGESTSURPRISEEVAHHHHH.

The plan right now is that Jed will be in the US for about 2 months and then he’ll return to Ukraine to get back to work. The kids and I will plan to stay in the US until we get our new son’s most urgent medical needs met. Then we’ll join Jed back in Ukraine. We’re thinking maybe the kids and I will be in the States till after Christmas? I’m just not sure. We’re open and we don’t want to rush things. But in a way it will probably feel like our lives are on pause. I’m not sure how we’ll navigate that well. I guess one day at a time. I get overwhelmed if I think about it too much, so I won’t. At least not right now. 🙂 PROCRASTINATIONISMYSPIRITUALGIFT.

So, that’s where things stand right now. A lot goin on, and lot yet to come. We are doing well, just maybe a bit overwhelmed at the moment. We have so many ideas, so many plans for the Boys, for the work here. It’s hard to imagine leaving it all and going so far away. Wide Awake is granting our local church here in Zhytomyr with funds to be able to coordinate and continue the work at Romaniv while we are gone, so that is really reassuring. We won’t be leaving the boys without love and care. Our volunteers will continue to faithfully go and love the boys. It will just be hard for us to be away. Yet it will be wonderful to be with family and friends in America. Yet we will also be adjusting to a new son and helping him learn how to be part of a family. Yet we will not be bringing him home to the house and community where we actually live…at least not right away.

Lots of thoughts, lots of emotions, lots of awesomeness happening, lots of everything. I’ll do my best to keep you posted along the way. Thank you all for being such a dear part of this journey. Thank you for your prayer, your encouragement, your friendship, your financial support. We have felt so much love and support along every step of this journey. Praise God we don’t have to walk this path alone! You are a blessing to us. WELOVEYOULOTSANDLOTS.

Pics: Hava in Kyiv with her perty new headband, our beautiful Addy and Hava in Kyiv, St. Andrews Church in Kyiv, our kids with a famous statue outside the adoptions office in Kyiv, St. Michaels Church in Kyiv (my fave), Seth is taller than Hava (and 17 months younger!), my everyday morning view, our garden when it was beautiful, our garden infested with bugs (grrrr…ain’t nobody got time for that!), Seth posing with his new bike, my kids being “special”, our neighborhood!