Wide Awake Family Grew!

Last week our sweet Evangeline Joy made her appearance and we couldn’t be happier. She is already bringing us so much joy.  She is like a sweet balm on our hearts.

More to come later, but I realized that I didn’t share her arrival on the blog, and I thought you all would want to know!  Thank you for your prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy baby. Everything went smoothly and Evie is perfection.

We would sure appreciate your continued prayers for Boris. Jed and I were gone at the hospital several days last week and the transition has been difficult for him. One step forward, lots of steps back…sigh. The long road to healing can feel extra long some days. Please pray for Boris’ heart to find peace, for our other kiddos to have patience and grace as Mom and Dad’s attentions are divided yet again,  and for us for wisdom in how to best help Boris- especially Jed, since pretty much all of Boris’ care falls on his shoulders at the moment.

Thank you all! More to come. 🙂


All About Boris: One Week Home

On Christmas Day we had much to celebrate. Not only is Christmas always the best holiday EVER, but this Christmas we celebrated one week of having our sweet Boris home.

Yes! On December 15th the guardianship committee granted Jed’s petition for guardianship in a quick and easy 10 minute meeting. I realized that I said I would come back and share the news here on the blog, but I forgot! Sorry to keep you hanging. I share much more frequently on our Wide Awake Facebook page, just so you know. 🙂

We waited for the documents to be drawn up and ready, and then on Monday, December 18th we brought our boy to his forever home on the Homestead.



I still can’t quite believe Boris lives with us! It’s unreal! I remember the many hours our team has spent sitting with Boris at Romaniv praying and crying over him. We cried over the injustice of his life and we prayed for his freedom. Now those prayers have been answered. It’s miraculous.

I would say that overall, Boris is doing much better than we anticipated! We definitely have some big challenges, and the road to healing will be steep and long, but I’m actually shocked at how well he is doing. For instance, I thought that we wouldn’t be able to take Boris out of the house for quite some time. I imagined that the stimulation of going new places would be far too much for him, but he has proved me wrong. He loves going in the car and we have already seen improvement in his ability to cope with new surroundings and new people. Yay!

I know many of you are very curious about every aspect of this journey, so I will try to be faithful to share. I also want to make sure in sharing that I always guard Boris’ dignity. He has had so much stolen from him over the years, I don’t want to be yet another person who steals from him. He deserves better than that. So, I will share our experience, but many details I won’t share.  This is Boris’ journey as much as it is ours, and I want to be very careful to show him respect. Thank you for understanding!

Medical. Medically, we don’t really have anyone to guide us. Boris is a total medical mystery. He is the size of our 7 year old, but Boris is almost 26 years old. The only diagnosis he had at the institution was “severe mental retardation” (not my words, just the literal translation). We have no idea what kind of condition he was in upon coming to the institution in 1998, so we really don’t have any way of knowing how much of the Boris we see now was preexisting, and how much of who he is now is caused by living at Romaniv for 19 years. I’m just assuming that the main things we are dealing with are a lifetime of abuse, neglect, and constant stress and trauma. There is no handbook on how to navigate the path to healing for someone like Boris so we are just praying for wisdom and creativity and taking it one day at a time.

I’m an RN, so I’m thankful for that background right now. We took Boris last week to get a bunch of lab work done, just for some baseline numbers. Some of the labs came back quite concerning, so we will need to dig deeper into that once we find a doctor that we feel we can trust with Boris’ medical care here. We also took him for a full abdominal ultrasound, just because his body shape is so strange and he is obviously not healthy. We just have no idea what is going on with those organs in there. The US showed some abnormalities that, again, we will need to address once we find a medical home for Boris’ care. Right now we are just doing these tests at a private clinic and just ordering them ourselves. Once we collect a few more specimens for evaluation we will present all our findings to a doctor and get recommendations on how to proceed.

We will be applying for a passport for Boris ASAP so that we can get him to Germany for medical evaluations there with some of our partners. He has a foot/ankle and arm (humerus) that were broken at one point and never healed correctly. The breaks really hinder his mobility, so we are eager to find out what a surgeon will say about that.


Physical (Daily Life).  Boris requires pretty much full care. He can walk, but really only around the house. He has no stamina, pretty poor balance and the odd shape of his foot makes finding suitable shoes a real problem. We are borrowing a wheelchair from some friends while we look for a permanent chair that will fit him correctly. The wheelchair is not needed at home, but is a necessity when we are out and about. He really likes being wheeled around, so that’s a bonus!

I thought that food would be a big obstacle, but honestly, he’s done amazing! I remember Vladik being SO picky when he first came home. He would only eat pureed textures and if anything had much taste at all he would say it was “spicy”. I expected Boris to be even more picky, but boy has he proved me wrong! He hasn’t turned down anything! I’m so relieved about that. Sure, we have the food insecurities and the food obsession going on, but at least when he’s given food he’ll eat it. We all just have to be careful not to eat in front of him when it’s not his mealtime. If you eat in front of Boris you better be prepared to share! He is capable of feeding himself, but his coordination is quite poor and he crams the food into his mouth way too fast. It’s really not safe, so for now we are feeding him. Once he begins to learn that no one is going to steal his food and food will always be there when he wants it, we’ll start to work on independent feeding skills. At first he was turning down all liquids except soup, but already in one week he has changed his tune. He’ll drink basically anything except water at this point, so that’s a big victory!

Boris is not able to dress himself, so we help him with that. He wears a boys size 8. What a little peanut! He is so darn cute.


Communication. Boris is nonverbal. He doesn’t speak at all. He also does not know any signs. It’s been fun to begin to learn his ways of communicating. Some of it we already knew just from knowing him at Romaniv, but he is already much more communicative, after just one week! Having your needs consistently met encourages communication. It’s beautiful. His main methods of communication are reaching for things, or walking to the room where the need can be met (going to the kitchen for food, going to his room when he’s ready for bed, going to the bathroom when he wants the toilet). He also makes eye contact and then makes a kind of grunting sound when he wants to communicate a desire. He shakes his head when he is saying no. Like if he is grunting to me and I ask him if he needs the toilet, he will shake his head, or he will get up and start to walk to the bathroom (if we’re lucky…toileting is a whole other beast we are tackling. Oy.).  It’s really difficult to know how much Boris understands. He definitely understands simple commands, and obeys them well. How much he understands at a deeper level, beyond just simple language is impossible to ascertain at this time. Only time will tell.

As you can see on his face, Boris has quite a history of self-harm. Years and years with almost zero sensory input can lead the boys to self-harm in order to get some sort of sensory input. Right now it doesn’t seem that Boris is hitting himself for any kind of sensory input. Right now it almost seems like communication, or just his way of processing his emotions. Like, if we tell him we’re going outside, he’ll get really excited and his go-to reaction is to hit himself in the head. Or when he first came home he would hit himself very aggressively when it was time for his clothes to be changed. He has already backed way down on that. We make sure that two of us are present for big transitions and one of us will be on “hand duty” to try to keep the hitting to a minimum. We know we can’t undo the past 19 years in one week, but we can sure try. 🙂


Emotional. Emotionally, Boris was at the best he has been since we met him when we took him from Romaniv. His one on one time with his intern, Mira, has helped him to begin to develop. He is able to process this huge transition in a more positive way than he would have before. That really is one of the goals of the internship, and of our work at Romaniv, to prepare the boys for life outside of the institution. It’s awesome to be able to reap the benefit of the internship with Boris. Three years ago he would have been a complete disaster- he was self-harming almost constantly and his arms were always tied up to try to keep him safe. He’s come a long way since then. God’s timing is perfect.

Even though he can’t speak, Boris makes it very obvious that he is happy with his new life. He is so happy that today one of our kids described him as being “jolly”! Anyone who has met Boris before would be shocked to hear that word used to describe him. In this past year, at Romaniv, Boris began to laugh at appropriate times and in appropriate situations. He would laugh when his favorite volunteers were near or when he was taken outside, but it was not frequent. He was generally quite serious. Not anymore!  He will laugh appropriately at the kids when they do funny things. When he’s happy with his food he’ll make sure to catch your eye and smile and laugh. He loves music and smiles a lot when good music is playing. He especially smiles when he’s been gone in the car and realizes we’ve arrived back home. Ahhh, home sweet home.

A lot of times the laughing is appropriate, but it is also often inappropriate. Inappropriate laughter is laughter that goes on and on and on for no apparent reason. We’re talking laughter that goes from midnight till 2am without a pause…yeah, at that point we can safely assume he’s not just really, really happy.  We are aware that he is processing more complex thoughts and emotions through the limbic system.  As he heals and his brain reorganizes itself we hope to see his processes advance and change.  We’ve noticed that the manic kind of laughter happens more frequently when Boris has been overstimulated- maybe we were out and about too much, or had a houseful people (all things that are hard to avoid the week of Christmas). While Boris handles the activity and commotion quite well, he seems to pay for it later. So, we are trying to be more aware of that.


Family. It’s truly wonderful how well Boris has melded into our family. All our kids have commented on how different he is than how they expected. He’s more mellow than they expected, but also louder than they expected (hello laughter!), and he has a lot more personality than any of us expected. It’s amazing how in the institution the boys are just shells of their true selves. It only takes love and a sense of safety for their true selves to start to show up. We’re just getting glimpses of the true Boris, and he is so fun! I love watching our kids delight in him.

Many people have asked how Vladik has reacted to having Boris in our home. He is doing great! We talked about it a lot before Boris came, so Vladik was prepared. He likes to tell everyone that he has a new brother. 🙂 People have asked if Vladik and Boris were friends at Romaniv, and truthfully, no, they weren’t. I would say that the majority of the boys at Romaniv do not have “friend” attachments to any of they other boys. Many of them function socially and emotionally at such a low level that there is just not the awareness of others to form any attachments. Vladik had a peer or two that he had some attachment to, but Boris did not. Boris rarely interacted at all with any of the other boys. Honestly, all he did every.single.day was sit. Sit and sit and sit. He did not have friends.

When Boris first arrived he definitely reacted to Vladik. I assume that he, of course, remembers him! Vladik likes to talk to Boris and seems quite happy that he’s here. Vlad doesn’t love sharing attention, so he’s made sure to make his attention grabs, but that is very appropriate for where Vladik is in his emotional development. He’s adjusting just fine.


We are quite aware that this road to healing for precious Boris is going to be a long one. He has been damaged by others in every way possible. But I can honestly say that so far he has brought us immense joy. I honestly didn’t expect it! His laughter lights up a room. He is teaching our kids a new level of empathy and compassion and we are thankful for that. Taking care of him is physically demanding and requires creativity, but the feedback he gives is a gift. It is our joy to introduce him to true living.

Thank you so much for your encouragement and love during this time of transition. It blows us away how many people have reached out to cheer us all on. We need your prayers for wisdom and energy and creativity. We value your ideas and input. Thank you to every single person who has helped to make this dream possible. A life has been saved and you are a part of it. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Wide Awake Family Grows!

Happy Fall!

The trees are so so beautiful here right now and the weather is unseasonably  mild. The day before yesterday I roasted a pumpkin and made a pumpkin cheesecake treat and then yesterday cooked up some pumpkin soup. Fall has officially made it’s way to the Homestead. Bring on the cozy!


Hava, school friends, and pretty fall colors

I always love to make a cozy home, but this year I have even more reason to create coziness. If you follow us on Instagram or our personal Facebook you already heard, but yes, our family is growing. We’re havin’ a baby!

I know, I know. We were rather shocked too. (to put it mildly)

In the middle of the crazy month of June when teams were coming and going and we could barely keep our heads on straight we found out the news. I remember the shock and the overwhelming feeling of “how in the world are we going to do this?”  We decided to keep our little surprise a secret until we could really wrap our brains around it.

We thought the baby days were long gone for us. Seven year old Seth was the last baby we had in our home, and after 7 years straight of newborns- bio and foster– we were more than ready to say goodbye to diapers, bottles, bouncy seats, and sleepless nights. We had moved into the magical season when no one needs to nap, everyone can potty independently and get their own drinks of water. And then BAM! The bomb dropped. 🙂

After the initial shock wore off and the crazy summer slowed down a bit we were able think straight. It didn’t take long for us to see the joy in our unexpected gift. How precious it will be to witness new life once again. Our lives here, our work here is surrounded by brokenness. Our boys are so broken. They have endured years upon years of abuse and neglect. The nurturing they missed out on as little babies is visible in their bodies even today. Our Vladik has come so far, yet every day we work with him to repair the brokenness inside.  It’s a hard and painful road, but one we are called to walk down and we do, with joy and sadness mixed. We pray that this baby will be like a healing balm to our family and to our boys. How amazing it will be to have the opportunity to nurture this little one, to meet his or her needs and to watch him or her grow- surrounded by love- the way God intended. How encouraging it will be to not have to fight against years of neglect, and how joyful it will be for our other kiddos to be a part of the process.

We are so happy and we are so thankful. God truly does know what we need.

So it is with great joy that we share our wonderful gift of new life.

I’m 23 weeks pregnant now (more than halfway!), and baby is due to make it’s appearance right around Valentine’s Day. We never find out the gender beforehand, so we’re keeping it a surprise this time around too. We already have boys and girls, so it doesn’t really matter- although our girls feel pretty strongly that they need a sister to even things out. It’s been 9 years since my body has done the whole growing  a baby thing, but so far so good, even if I am considered “advanced maternal age”. 😉 I definitely feel it more this time around, the discomfort and all that, but my body is generally pretty good at being pregnant, so I don’t have many complaints.


Baby and me at the halfway point

Navigating a pregnancy here in Ukraine is definitely an adventure I never expected to have!  Of course the whole system is vastly different than what I’ve been used to in the past, but so far so good. I’ve mostly encountered a bazillion blood tests and a bazillion documents. I go to one doctor now, and then will switch to a “delivery doctor” when we are closer to the due date. Many people have asked if we will fly to the US for the birth, but that’s really not practical, for a number of reasons. Ukrainian women have babies here every day and do fine. I don’t see why it should be any different for me.

So I’m cozying up the house, taking advantage of quiet moments when the kids are at school (soon the quiet will disappear again!), and trying to be kind to my advanced maternal age body by putting my feet up when I need to (not easy to do when dishes pile up and boxes need unpacking STILL and 5 kids need me, but I’m trying). I know soon everything will change again, so I’m attempting to not rush this time, but to treasure the moments we have as a family of 7. Hopefully it won’t be long before our first Romaniv friend joins our family, and the baby soon after, so living in today is becoming an important skill to develop. It’s so interesting how the physical and spiritual align themselves. As we have been preparing the home for our boys and expecting them, things around us have changed. We have long compared the building of the Homestead and now the legal process of gaining guardianship as a kind of “pregnancy”. Now we also have a physical pregnancy. We are joyfully “expecting” in more ways than one.

Thank you to all who have shared our joy. Your encouraging words have blessed our family. We will be so excited to introduce our new baby to you in just a few short months! Yay for seasons of growth! (literally!) 😉




Today our Vladik is 17 years old. SEVENTEEN! What in the world?

He has grown so much in every way over this past year. Soon we’ll celebrate 2 years home for our boy and I’m amazed at what a different person he has become.

He is daring and funny and creative and talkative.

If anyone in our family loses anything or is looking for any item they know they just need to go ask Vlad. He knows where everything is.

Vladik speaks more Ukrainian than English these days. He is fluent in both, can understand and speak both, but his go-to language for speaking is Ukrainian. I’m sure our home sounds funny to outsiders. The rest of us speak English at home, but then Vladik is always inserting his funny version of “Ukrainienglish”. I don’t even notice it anymore and we can understand everything he says, so it’s no problem for us. It’s only really a problem when he is speaking to anyone outside of our family that hasn’t spent much time with him. Then our family becomes translators. I can say “Speak English” or “Speak Ukrainian” (depending on the audience) a million times over, but Vladik is going to say what he wants to say, how he wants to say it. He’s stubborn like that. 😉

His favorite foods have stayed the same since Day 1. His birthday food requests were “kasha” for breakfast (Cream of Wheat) and borscht with mashed potatoes for dinner. Some things never change. Hehe.

Speaking of food, in true teenage boy form, he is going to eat us out of house and home. Vladik eats more than any other person in our family- by far. He is a bottomless pit. BOTTOMLESS.

He was sure that when he turned 17 he would be able to drive a car. Sorry bud. Not happening.

Moving to the village has been the best thing ever for Vladik. He’ll spend hours outside building things with spare wood he finds around the property. He loves to ride his bike up and down our road, giving rides to the little neighbors.

Emotionally he is growing and changing as well.  We have a ways to go there, and will probably always be working toward healing, but he is coming along bit by bit. Vladik is starting to exert more of his will, arguing a bit and back talking a little, but those are good things! Annoying in the moment, yes (grrrr), but actually good. He isn’t so super eager to please out of fear or insecurity. He knows his place in our family and isn’t afraid to speak up. Those are big changes.

Vladik is so loved by our community here. It blesses our hearts. Our church family adores him. The neighbor kids in the village accepted him from the moment we moved in. We’ll have a party for him on Saturday and his guest list is super long. He knows he’s a popular dude.

Overall Vladik is happy and thriving. He fits perfectly into our family and we love him dearly. His journey, our journey has not been easy. We have many hard times and parenting Vladik takes a ton of effort. But, in general, he has transitioned into life in our family better than we ever could have imagined. He is just so smart and wonderful. I can’t even imagine him still living at Romaniv. It’s absurd! His life is so full!

I can’t wait to give the same opportunity to many of his friends who were left behind. I can’t wait to share blogs about their birthdays and Gotcha Day anniversaries. Soon, soon, soon. 🙂

But today we celebrate our boy and the wonderful gift that he is to us.

We love you Vladislav Christopher. Happy Birthday!!

Shoe Debates, Friendly Pack Mules, and Spring is Here!

I’m happy to report that THE SNOW IS GONE. The streets are (mostly) dry(ish) and the debate over which shoes to wear has simmered down a bit.  In my previous life, in Oregon, the debate over which shoes to wear was mild and was simply a matter of “is it raining or not.” If it’s raining, you can’t wear Toms.  If it’s not raining, Toms it is! I mean, I was most likely just going to be dashing across a parking lot if the weather was less than optimal, so making the best choice in footwear was not the end all.

In Zhytomyr in the winter, the shoe debate is real.  It is intense.  One does not simply throw on a pair of shoes and prance out the door without a care in the world!  No, no, no.  One is most likely going to be walking a fair distance out in the elements and waiting at bus stops. One must consider the level and freshness of the snow, the amount of ice, the wetness or dryness of said ice and snow.  On some days we have rivers for sidewalks, and on others we have ice skating rinks for sidewalks.  Rivers and ice skating rinks call for different shoes, different strategies.  One must also consider the distance to be walked and the condition of the sidewalks en route.  If I’m taking out the trash and heading that direction, I need to prepare for mudslides (and dead cats, apparently).  If I’m walking down our road in the opposite direction there will be less mud, but a lake or two to be traversed, so that must be taken into account. We’ve become quite adept at deciphering the sheen on the ice and navigating the sidewalks in the safest, non-broken-hip-est manner. Skillzzzzzzz.

My favorite boots for walking in mildly cold, non-snowy weather currently have a break in the sole, so my right foot is bound to get wet.  I keep forgetting to take them for repair, so if I want warm, dry feet my only choice are my snow boots.  But snow boots without snow are a little more Napoleon Dynamite than I’m willing to go, so I usually opt for the wet foot.  Why not just get the shoe repaired you might ask?  Yeah, I know. It’s a mixture of forgetfulness, procrastination, and fear of doing new things and not knowing how or what is expected of me.  I guess in the end I just opt for the wet foot.  Don’t judge.

All that to say, soon warmth will come, summer will come, and along with it, fewer and fewer shoe debates.  We will happily pack away the snow boots and non-snow boots.  Multiply that by 7 people and it equals 28 fewer shoes in my entry way and 500 times more peace in my heart.  (Shoe clutter is my nemesis.)


Beautiful dry, snowless, puddless sidewalk!

You know what else comes with warm weather?  Visitors!  We’re preparing our summer schedule and are excited to welcome several friends, old and new.  The boys and our team are going to get so much love and encouragement in the warm summer months!

I’m super excited to have all the visitors too.  I’m excited for English conversations and the joy that comes from seeing our boys through the eyes of others.  It’s a lot of work to host people, but it’s also refreshing, encouraging, and just plain fun. Guess what else gets me excited for visitors?  All the stuff we have them carry over to us from the US!  I’ve been out of brown sugar for over a month and my baking is SUFFERING. Peanut butter and chicken flavored Better Than Bouillon have also been sorely missed. I’m filling my Amazon cart in preparation. Yes, we totally and unashamedly use our visitors as pack mules. Come on, summer! Hehe

The kids are all doing really well.  In a couple of weeks we’ll have Spring Break, and then they only have like 2 more months of school!  I can’t even imagine the feeling of accomplishment they will have when they walk out the doors of school on that last day.  We are so close to completing a full year of Ukrainian school!!  There have been many good days, and also many days when we have all been in tears, ready to throw in the towel.  Many days of wondering if it is worth it, but as we round the final corner I think we are all seeing that it has totally been worth the blood, sweat, and tears.  The kids’ language has grown by leaps and bounds.  They never could have grown like that just here at home.  I am so incredibly proud of them.


It is totally NOT ice cream weather, but we got a little excited about the sunshine.

Yesterday we were at the hospital getting Addy, Ez, and Hava mandatory check-ups for school and I realized that I have started to rely on their ears when we are out and about.  I tell everyone to listen, and if I don’t catch what was said, most likely one of them will.  It’s awesome!  All communication outside the home used to fall on Jed and me completely, but now the kids can understand for themselves, and actually, truth be told, they have much better comprehension than I do at this point. Grrrr… the competitive side of me hates that!  But, I love that they can communicate and function so well in society.  That was our hope in sending them to school.

So, here’s to dry feet, American pack mules friends, and Spring Break.  The snow is gone, the sun is out, Brian Adams radio is playing (again, don’t judge), and my heart is full.  Happy Tuesday to our friends near and far!  BeLOVE[d].


PS: You will not believe this! I was typing this post when I had to pause to go get Seth from kindergarten.  On the way home we stopped at the post office and guess what was waiting for us???


Our wonderful Tom and Emma sent us a package with brown sugar, Better Than Bouillon, peanut butter, jalapeños and many other special treats. OMG. Can you believe that timing?  THANK YOU Tom and Emma.  We love you!