foster care

Foster Care Ponderings: Part 1, Our Story

Posted on by kimnjed

We decided to start a series here on Foster Care.  When we first became foster parents I tried to find stories of others who had gone before us and found the pickings were slim.  It seemed not many people were sharing their experiences, and boy I sure could have learned a lot from they had to say!  I know that fostering looks different for every family, in every state, but this is our story, our experience, and if it helps even one person along the fostering path than I think it’s worth spilling my guts.  🙂

Think back to spring break of 1993.  What were you doing?  I can tell you exactly what I was doing.  I was in Chihuahua. Mexico on my very first missions trip.  I was the youngest of the group, but just made the age deadline and there was no way I was going to miss that trip.  I honestly don’t remember much about that that time, except the enormous amount of Noxzema I had to apply to my face to get all that mime make-up off my face.  (Oh Teen Mania!) I may not remember much in the way of specific encounters and experiences, but I do remember that it changed the course of my life.  I saw the world was bigger than my small town, and my worries over entering high school were nothing compared to the trials others around the world were surviving through every day.

 After that trip I was hooked.  I proceeded to go on missions every single summer through high school and then through college.  One thing you see a lot of when you do any kind of short-term missions, is orphans.  My heart broke for them.  I had forever dreamed of being a mommy anyway, so the plight of the orphan has always hit me right in the center of my gut.  I decided straight out of high school that I knew exactly what I was to do with my life.  I was to become a nurse so I could care for orphans.  BAM.  There you have it!  The goal was set, application was accepted for nursing school, and I was off to the races!

Fast forward a few years and I’m back in my home town working at the local hospital as an RN and married to the fabulous, amazing, unbeatable Jed.  Okay, I know it’s Valentines Day and I may be gushing a bit, but seriously.  Jed is THE BEST.  If you haven’t met him you’ll just have to take my word for it, and if you do know him I dare you to argue with me.  🙂

Jed and Havalah.  One of Jed’s infamous self-portraits 🙂

 Anyway, it’s 2004, Jed and I have been married for a bit and we both know our desire is to live overseas.  We both have a heart for orphans and we are just eagerly awaiting our chance to get the heck outta’ dodge.  We wait….

and wait

 and wait.

We have two squeezable kiddos of our own and pray.  We look for the opportunity, we pray for God’s will and no matter what we do we always get the same answer.  “Stay put”.

“Huh??  What was that God?  I’m pretty sure we didn’t hear you right because we really want to love on some orphans and we know you feel pretty strongly about them…so what’s the holdup??”

Nope. That’s a negative.  He definitely wanted us to stay put.  So sadly, we put our dreams about orphan care on the shelf until later.  Then I happened to have a chat with a friend at a party and I moaned and groaned to her about our hearts, and being stuck in the US.  She then piped up with the words that forever changed our lives.

“You know, foster kids are America’s orphans.  Have you ever thought of fostering?”

What the???  Why no, we had not even considered that!  I mean no one else we knew fostered, it just didn’t occur to us.  Here was one of our answer as to why God had us remain here in the States.  Not so we would just hang our dreams up on a shelf- no, the fulfillment of those dreams was just going to look a lot different than we had imagined.

We were about to embark on one of the most difficult and wonderful journeys of our lives; one that we are still on today, and one that I don’t regret for a single second.

We contacted the State immediately, attended trainings, filled out massive amounts of paperwork, locked up any medications, picked up some fire extinguishers, installed smoke detectors, passed our home study- and lo and behold- we were foster parents!!  The process was long, but not excruciating.  Ezra, our second, was only 18 months old and we had told our certifier we weren’t going to take any babies until he turned 2, so we figured we had some time to get things ready for whoever our “new arrival” would be.

We should have known not to get too comfy, because 2 weeks later I got a phone call from the state.  “We have a baby who was just born and is in the NICU.  We feel we definitely need a home with a nurse.  Are you really wanting to wait, or do you think you could take one a little early?”

Deep breath.  Oh boy.  Are we really doing this?  Heck yes we are!

Let the games begin!! 

 To be continued….

 P.S.  We plan to cover several different topics concerning foster care in the next couple of weeks, so if there is something in particular you are wondering about please feel free to leave a question in the comments or you can email us at johnson commune @ gmail dot com (no spaces).   

   

One Step Closer!

Posted on by kimnjed

Yesterday we got some adoption news!  We hadn’t heard any news in months.  I was starting to imagine our paperwork was actually lost in the abyss of the state offices.  We got word that we have an Adoption Coordinator assigned to our case now.  I have no idea what an Adoption Coordinator does, but hey, it’s more news than I had last week…so I’ll take it!  Supposedly once they process those forms everything moves really quickly.  I really really hope so!  
Here’s a sneak peek of the cuteness.  He loves all things chicken.  The Little Red Hen, the real hens in our backyard, toy chickens, and yes- chicken as food. 🙂
 He decided his toys needed to take a swim…
We also have good news about our April trip!  We were finally able to make contact with a couple that we most wanted to meet with in country.  This is the couple who’s work initially drew us to wanting to save up all our pennies to fly across the world.  From what I know about them it seems they are doing exactly the type of work that we are passionate about.  Even if we couldn’t make contact with them we were still making plans to go and meet with others, and we were happy about that, but the blessing of being able to meet with these specific people just about triples our excitement about this trip.  WAHOOOOOOO!! 
I’m slowly, and steadily making a bit of progress on language learning.  OH MY WORD.  Why can’t they speak Spanish where we’re going????  My brain feels a bit foggy with doing Spanish studies with the kids in the morning for their class, then doing my language study in the afternoon…I just know when we get there I’m going to be thinking in Spanish…or Albanian.  Ha!  My in-laws live in Kosova, so they speak Albanian there.  It’s not like I’m fabulous at Albanian (not even semi-fab), but you know how international travel goes,  your brain reverts to the last non-English language you learned.  But, it’s not like we have a translator meeting us at the airport, so I better get my rear in gear!!  I’ve been pretty faithful in my studies since the new year started, so Lord, please bless my efforts….HELP!!!!   
On a less scary note, here’s some cuteness to sum up January. 
Ez and Mommy had a date night
 
Our most awesome bunny was accidentally locked outside for the night.  Oh the drama!!  
We found him the next day, alive and well.  Now that was a miracle!
 
Mommy put the kids to work.
 
Ezra took this picture of Havalah.  She’s going to love this one when she’s older!!

Come on 2012!

Posted on by kimnjed

I think it’s pretty safe to say 2011 has been one of the best years of my life. I can’t believe it’s almost over!!  It’s amazing to look back and remember what life was like just one year ago and how much has changed since then.  
Last year, at the beginning of 2011 we were in mourning. We had just been told that our 7 month old baby boy we had fostered since day 1 would not be able to become our son.  The state was going to be doing open recruitment to choose a family for him, but because of some policies that had just been changed we would not be eligible to apply to be his family.  He knew no one but us, hadn’t seen his birth parents since leaving the hospital at 2 days old, we were his parents.  We were being told a big fat NO.  
BUT…..
Praise the Lord we have a rockin’ case worker and our boy has an amazing lawyer who stood up and shouted that this was not right.  They fought for our boy and for our family.  Now, at the beginning of 2012 we are simply waiting on some final paperwork to be processed and he will be ours.  He will officially and legally be our son.  Oh how I long for that day.  They tell us it will be soon!!!  God truly moved mountains to give us our son.  (Soon we can show pictures of him too! He’s quite the cutie)  🙂
At the beginning of 2011 we were halfway into our first year as a homeschooling family.  We were questioning if we were doing the right thing, we were insecure, we were struggling with math.  🙂  Now, at the beginning of 2012 we are comfy in our homeschooling shoes.  That’s definitely not to say I think we’ve got it figured out or that I’m an old pro now, but I can say we know we are doing the right thing for our family and we are thankful for that security.  Our days are full- full of diapers, interruptions, spilled milk (really!), melt-downs, overflowing laundry baskets, and potty training disasters.
BUT….
They are also full of giggles and snuggles on the couch with the latest read-aloud we just can’t put down.  They are full of math breakthroughs, library books, ballet in the living room, and sweet Bible times with our single candle lit on the kitchen table.  I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I thank God for the blessing it has been to our family.
At the beginning of 2011 I was a passive observer in my life with Christ.  I had become cynical and bored with my faith.  Oh I have never stopped loving Jesus.  He and I had some sweet moments together, but they were few and far between- and I know the fault in that lies completely with me.  I had given up on dreams and passions that He had given me, created me for.  I was faithful in my actions, as far as serving the Body, yet my heart was far away.  
BUT…
My God pursued me with reckless abandon.  He chased me down and He would not let me go.  He spoke to me in a small whisper at first.  That whisper grabbed my attention.  I picture Jesus like one of my kids who is so stinkin’ excited to show me something new, something they have created.  “Come here!  Look over here!  Look what I’m doing!!!!”  Yep, once Jesus had my attention He took me by the hand and said “Look!  I’m doing a new thing, and guess what?  You get to be a part of it!!  Follow me.”   Jed and I never would have thought last year at this time we’d be trying to learn a new language in preparation for a trip to a country in Eastern Europe.  I never even really thought about that country and we had NO idea about all the precious lives lying in wait there.  There was a whole community of people fighting for those precious lives and we had no clue about any of it! 
I’m telling you what, Jesus changed my life in 2011 and I will never ever be the same.  My Jed has been amazing through it all.  He led our family and sought the Lord when I was uninterested.  He prayed for me and he loved me and I can never thank him enough for leading our family so faithfully.  Now God is calling Jed and I and our family to a great adventure.  Something big is about to happen.  YEEEEEEEHAW!!!!!
In 2011 God gave us our son.  He gave us vision.  He renewed our  passion.  He changed our lives.  He set us on a course and we can’t wait to see where it leads.  
Come on 2012! 

My Uncle

Posted on by kimnjed

Heaven gained an amazing man this weekend.  
My Uncle Gary went to be with Jesus- our loss, Heaven’s gain.
My mom and her brothers and sister.  Uncle Gary is on the right.
He wasn’t one anyone thought would be gone so soon.  He was just at my house for dinner a couple weeks ago, not feeling so hot, but making jokes, eating with us, sharing life with us. I’m so happy he came. 🙂
Now he’s with Jesus. 
When he was in the ICU this past week I prayed for Jesus to heal him, but most of all I prayed that God would have His way and He would be glorified.  Jesus chose to let Uncle Gary come home to Heaven as we all gathered around his bedside.  
As a child I don’t remember having much of a relationship with my uncle.  He was kind of a big bear and I think I was a little afraid of him.  Ha!  Then I grew up, went away to college and only saw him at holidays.  I wasn’t afraid of him anymore, but we didn’t have much to talk about.  Then he got married, I got married, he moved to Ohio, and there were Christmas cards, but no real relationship.  I didn’t really KNOW him.  His likes, his dislikes, what made him laugh, if he had a sense of humor.  He was just Uncle Gary, a family member I loved but took for granted.
Then Abby was born.  My Uncle Gary’s granddaughter was born with many health problems.  His daughter, my cousin, would need help caring for her baby.  He flew out to Ohio to comfort his daughter, to watch over his Abby as she lay, tiny as a doll in the NICU.  Sick babies, NICU’s, talks of foster care- now I had something to talk with my uncle about!  This was my comfort zone.  Now we had some common ground.
Would we take Abby for a while?  Would we care for her until she was stable enough to move to Ohio to be with him?  You don’t have to ask twice.  We are family!
I knew my uncle then.  He didn’t bat an eye.  Of course this was his baby.  Of course he was not just Grandpa- he was daddy.
We fostered Abby for 4 months.  That was a hard four months in our lives.  Havalah was a newborn, I had two preschoolers, and now this teeny tiny babe.  Uncle Gary called often.  My Aunt Linda called.  He texted.  He worried about his baby from afar.  He and his AMAZING wife Linda prepared for her arrival.  
Havalah and Abby- my sweet babies
In June 2009 Havalah and I took Abby, along with her mommy, to live with Gary and Linda.  Now I knew my uncle.  Through those 4 months I had learned his likes, his dislikes.  I had learned what made him laugh and just how much he could make me laugh.  I learned that he was not just a bear, but a big sweet gentle teddy bear with a heart of gold.  I learned how much he loves football and how much he despises the Oregon Ducks (and rightly so!).  🙂  We had bonded.  We had traveled a road together.  We had fought for this baby together and now she was home.  
When Abby was born with so many problems I know we all struggled with the “why?”.  We wondered God’s plan in it all.  Although I never ever regretted it, I know I wondered at times why God had us caring for her when I still had my own newborn to care for.  Now I look back and I see His plan at work.  I see how Abby lit up Gary’s life.  I see how she brought our family together.  I see how she gave me a friendship, love and respect for my uncle.  A lot was gained by that little life coming into the world- and that’s just my gains!  I’m sad he’s gone now, but so extremely thankful God made a way for me to know him before it was too late.
We all are wondering why Gary is gone from us so soon, but I am confident in the Lord and in His ultimate plan.  He works all things for good.
I love you Uncle Gary, and I am so thankful for our time we had together.  Have fun breathing deeply and dancin’ with Jesus.  🙂
 

I Love November

Posted on by kimnjed

November is National Adoption Month and Orphan Awareness Month.  Jed and I have been hard at work preparing a presentation for our church.  I am so stinkin’ excited to share with our body what we are most passionate about.  For our presentation we’ve been filming people from our church who have either been adopted, adopted a child themselves, fostered children, or somehow are actively doing orphan care.  It has been awesome.

I think sometimes when us passionate-about-orphans people get to really thinking about all the fatherless out there, all the babies without mama’s, all the boys without daddies, it can get extremely overwhelming.  God, why aren’t people doing more?  Don’t they even care?  I sometimes feel alone in my passion.  I think about the fatherless every single day.  I pray for the orphaned ones every single day.  I look into the face of my baby and wonder what his life would have been like had he been born in a different country.  Would he have been abandoned?  Would he be languishing in an orphanage with no one to hold him when he cries?  Most likely.  It’s too much.

Then I lift my head up and I look around.  I start thinking of ones I know who I can get on film from our church.  I think of name after name of those who have answered the cry.  

Phil and Kathy- fostered over 30 teenage girls and adopted their daughter through foster care.
Tim and Rosa- running an orphanage in Asia for disabled children.
Debbi- adopted as a child and so thankful to share how she was rescued by her parents.
Sam and Angie- some of our very best friends who are in Bulgaria RIGHT NOW! visiting with their children they are adopting.

Yes, the need is great.
Yes, many ignore the need.
Yes, the church needs to rise up.

But,
Many are answering the cries.
Many are not ignoring the need.
Many are rising up.

I know God is on the move and He WILL NOT forget His children.
And I am encouraged.

 I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.  John 14:18