Language | Wide Awake Family

The Hard Stuff.

Posted on September 11, 2014 by kimnjed

Hello!…gasp…choke…sputter…(that’s me coming up for air)

We’re alive! Oh my, it’s been a doozy of a summer. Awesome? YES. Nevertheless, I can’t deny the dooziness of it. Wow.

Now we’re here in September, coming up for air, hoping you still remember us and will forgive us for being absent in this space. You will? Thanks!

Addy and Ezra started school last Monday and I’ll be honest, it’s been rough. We transfered them to a Ukrainian Christian school here in town and the school itself couldn’t be kinder and more caring. It’s just all around extremely difficult. There’s no way around it. We are in the trenches and it stinks. BIG TIME.

After the first couple of days I emailed a few of my homeschooling Mommy friends from back in the US and basically bawled my eyes out over email. “Please tell me I’m not ruining my kids’ lives by making them do something this hard.” “Please tell me this will get better.” “Please send me multiple boxes of chocolate and can you somehow figure a way to get a DQ Blizzard here intact?” (kidding…)

I was teary-eyed dropping them off the first day, I prayed all throughout the day at home, and then cried to their teacher (I know, humiliating…I couldn’t help it! Poor thing didn’t see that coming ON THE FIRST DAY) when I picked them up in the afternoon. Oy.

They want friends. They want to understand. They want to speak. It’s just so stinkin’ hard. They’re in first class again because they don’t speak enough Ukrainian, but the Director said if they begin to speak more, that after Christmas break there’s a chance of them moving up to second class. I know in the US they would be put at their grade level according to age, but that’s not really how it works here. There aren’t other foreigners, so the school is just deciding what to do with us on a minute by minute basis. They are so gracious to take on the Johnsons. It takes a village! Hahahaha….waaaaaaahhhhhhh.

The school system and inner-workings are just SO different here. Know one knows what we don’t know (everything) so we often don’t know what’s going on…or we don’t even know that we don’t know what’s going on. From school supply lists to parent communication to bathroom rules to class schedules- it’s all different.

We realized about two days in to the school year that it is absolutely necessary for us to get the kids a tutor. We avoided it last school year because our family was just so much in survival mode, the thought of someone else coming to our house and the thought of making the kids study more after getting their brains fried at school seemed like family abuse. 🙂 But, we are determined to not just survive anymore and we’re feeling like we can start to really dig in in some ways that we hadn’t earlier. It’s time for the tutor.

We had one name referred to us by a good friend, so we contacted that girl and found out she is willing to teach the kids! She will hopefully be able to come to our house after school Monday through Thursday for an hour each day to help Addy and Ez with their homework and get them speaking more. The kids are less than excited, because when they get home they just want to play (I don’t blame them!), but we are trying to explain to them how much this will help them in the long run.

That tutor can’t start until the end”ish” of October and we had no idea what to do in the meantime. We really felt the kids need help ASAP. Well, guess what? On Monday the kids’ teacher at school asked if she could keep them for an hour after school each day to work with them on their Ukrainian!! Oh my word. When she offered I almost cried again (but decided it would be best to get a grip). I am so extremely thankful that she cares and wants to help them. Praise God for such a loving teacher!!!! So, she will help them until the tutor can start and we’ll see what happens then. We’re bitin’ the bullet baby. Please pray with us for miraculous results! I’m hoping that this extra time alone with their teacher will really help them get more comfortable to speak out at school.

I started doing some homeschool Kindergarten with Havalah and Seth last week too. Hava is super eager to learn to read, so we’re focusing on that. Later this month they’ll start going to a little private preschool for 1.5 hours twice a week. I think that’s just enought to get them some language exposure and time with other little kiddos. So, they’re pretty excited about starting that! It’s literally a 2 minute walk from our house, so I’m pretty excited about THAT! 🙂

I’ll tell you what; this parenting-in-another-culture thing is not for the faint of heart. It has shown me, and is showing me daily, hourly how much control I like to hold in my own two hands. I like to be in charge. I like to fix things. I like to make people happy. I put my trust in myself and my ability to make things better.

Well guess what? I can’t control my kids’ happiness. I can’t make kids at school like them and seek them out. I can’t make Ezra bold. I can’t make Addy not lonely for a girlfriend. I can’t demand the school put them with kids their own age. I can’t fix the fact that they want real friendships and have almost zero ability to make them right now. I can’t make them happy that they are here in Ukraine instead of with their cousins in the US. I can’t snap my fingers and make things all better. Things are just hard right now and all I can do is trust.

All I can do is trust that the God who spoke so clearly to us to move our family to Ukraine has not forgotten our children now that we are here.

All I can do is trust that God loves my kids more than I ever could and He knows their deepest needs- and He will meet those needs. I get focused on their wants- but God is able to meet their needs.

He knows them. He created them. He knew when He was forming them in the womb that they would live here in this culture, with these people. He is able to give them everything they need to THRIVE here.

I get so focused on ensuring their happiness that I lose sight of what’s really important.

What is the most important? Sleepovers and sports and theater and homeschool co-op and too many friends to count? No. Those things are awesome, and not wrong, and I miss them more than I can say. But those are not the most important things.

What is the most important thing? The most important thing is to say Yes to Jesus. The most important thing is to listen to the voice of the Father and walk with Him. The most important thing is seek first His Kingdom. The most important thing is go where He says to go, to do what He says to do- to know HIM. The rest is gravy.

Our joy is to be found in Him. Oh my, not that we can’t enjoy the fun things available in life! I’m a fun girl. I love to have fun, to do fun things, to be with fun people. God knows that about me and He knows that about my children. He’s a loving Father- He loves to love His kids. But seeking happiness for my kids instead of seeking Jesus with them is second best.

So, I tell myself these things all day while they’re gone at school. I tell myself these things after I tuck them in at night. Saying yes to Jesus is worth it. It’s not always easy, and sometimes it can be fairly painful, but it is worth it.

I see how our kids are absolutely in love with the Boys at Romaniv and I get a glimpse of how it is worth it. They adore the Boys and think they are wonderful and beautiful and special. They know little things about them- their likes and dislikes, their habits. When they see a person with special needs out and about in town they get almost giddy, so great is their love for that population. Their eyes have been opened to brokenness in the world and they have felt the joy of being used by Jesus to bring about healing. All of that shapes them and forms them, and I am thankful.

Thank you for loving our kids and praying for them. May no thing stand in the way of them fully becoming who God has made them to be. So be it.

The Big Fat Language Update

Posted on August 23, 2014 by kimnjed

Welp, we’ve been living in Ukraine for nine months now. NINE MONTHS. When I think about it, in some ways it feels like we just got here, but then again it feels like a lifetime ago that we lived in Salem…so, all the feelings are a bit of a jumble.

The biggest struggle, by far, is the language. No surprise there! We always knew language would be a big deal, but I think the more time we spend here the more we realize how big of a deal it actually is. Learning language isn’t just about knowing enough to call a taxi, or get the right food at the store, or pay our rent, or to understand and barter prices at the bazaar, or to communicate with the boys at Romaniv (“Come here, sit down, let’s wash hands, I love you…”). It’s about truly knowing and being known.

Although our time at camp was absolutely AMAZING and life-altering, it also highlighted how much we are missing by our lack of language skills. Don’t get me wrong, we are working hard and we have been working since we arrived, but we still have so far to go. At camp we loved and we were showered with love as well, but still remained a tad on the fringes. Why? Because we can’t truly know or be known at our current level of language acquisition. The only people who we can really know are people who speak English. We love our English speaking friends- no doubt, but we’re missing out on a whole HUGE population of potential friends and loved ones because we can’t get past small talk. To have to rely on translators when it comes to matters of the heart is a HUGE deal that requires huge trust. I mean, if you go somewhere on a short-term missions trip you must use the help of translators and it’s expected. No big deal. But then when you’re done you go back to friends and family who know you and love you for who you really are and all is well. We don’t have that luxury! I’ve traveled all over the world on short-term trips and I never ever realized what a big issue language is for the long-term worker. It’s one of those things you just have to live to understand. The Ukrainian people are the friends and family in our life. I want them to know ME, not a translator’s version of me. The thing we miss most about the US is knowing and being known by dear friends. I am so so so soooooooooo thankful for translators. Oh my word, what a hard job. I don’t want to take that lightly or seem ungrateful. It’s just that their version of me can’t be the real, true me because it’s their take on me and my words. That is just a truth that can’t be helped. Therefore, we simply MUST learn to speak for ourselves- and the sooner the better.

Enter, Language School Intensive! We’ve been studying language since we first touched down in Ukraine in November. We started out studying Russian because in Zhytomyr people speak Russian and Ukrainian and there’s no right or wrong choice. Both languages are useful and accepted. Most of Zhytomyr’s population speaks a mix of Russian and Ukrainian, so it’s actually a bit of a zoo to navigate for newbies like us. Booohoooooo. Anyway, we started learning Russian simply because there are far more resources available to foreigners for learning Russian and we had started with Russian vocab when we were still in the US. Starting in December we had a lovely language tutor who came to our home twice a week to help us with Russian. All was fine, but because of the holidays and a teeny tiny REVOLUTION! we didn’t make a ton of progress.

Then in February Addy and Ezra started school. Well, school is taught 100% in Ukrainian and all the homework is in Ukrainian. A lot of good our Russian did us then. Oh my. Not fun. So, after about a month of school we decided we needed to ditch Russian and start learning Ukrainian. It’s probably a good idea for the whole fam to be learning the same language, am I right? The problem then arose of who would teach us? Our teacher didn’t feel comfortable teaching Ukrainian because she is primarily Russian-speaking. No, the two languages are not the same. We asked and searched but couldn’t find anyone who could/wanted to teach Ukrainian. It’s hard to teach your own language to foreigners! Then we found our God-send: Ukrainian Catholic University here in Lviv. *cue Hallelujah Chorus! They have been the answer to our prayers. They have a program for foreigners to learn Ukrainian as a second language. YESSSSSSS!

We started distance learning via Skype in May. (Yes, that means we went from March to May with no lessons. I know, not good. But, we do have 4 kids…and we are working and figuring out public school…and, and, and…oy.) Each week Jed and I would each have two, hour-long individual lessons with our Skype tutor. Irina is great. She knows very little English, and during our lessons she speaks no English. So during May and June we learned a lot! We didn’t have lessons in July because we were gone at camp. July was one big, neverending lesson. Ha! We can understand much more than we can say. We actually understand a ton and in many situations we can get our point across- in a very toddler-like way. 🙂 We can read and we can write…but oh man, we have so very far to go.

And that all brings us to the present. We are currently in the middle of a 3 week language intensive here in Lviv at the Catholic University. Jed and I are alone in a classroom with a tutor and we have 4 lessons per day. It has been fantastic. Truly, I think this was one of our best decisions yet. I am so thankful that God led us to this program. They took us right at our level and we are learning so much. I so wish we could hit pause on our life and study language full-time for a few months. Really. Of course it’s not possible, but I can still wish for it! 🙂

So, what’s our plan for language learning when we get home? Here we go (PS: this is where it gets crazy):

1. We will resume individual Skype lessons twice a week, and maybe add a third lesson each week if we can afford it.

2. We will arrange our life schedule in such a way that language study is given more of a priority. We will each study independently for a minimum of 1 hour per day (hopefully 2 hours on most days)- alone, isolated, without children, without interruption.

3. And the biggie: We will NOT speak English to any of our Ukrainian friends. Hold me.

Here’s the deal. We speak English too much. Our closest Ukrainian friendships are with English speakers. We all want to go beyond toddler conversation, so we speak English together. Well guess what? We sure aren’t going to improve our Ukrainian that way. So, we choose to humble ourselves and embarrass ourselves for the sake of long-term benefit. Of course we’ll speak English to each other and to our kids, but if you are Ukrainian you aren’t gonna get any English from us (of course we’ll use the help of translators for work meetings and Romaniv staff communication). Oh my, it’s going to be quite painful. I don’t relish the idea at all. But, it’s simply got to be done. We’re pulling the English plug.

So there you have it, The Big Fat Language Post. It’s getting kind of long so I’ll write about the kids and language a little later. If you have any questions, ask away!

*The pictures are from our various adventures here in Lviv. Grammy and Papa are here helping us with the kidlets. YAY!!!!

Lviv Livin’

Posted on August 17, 2014 by kimnjed

Hello Friends!

I can't believe it was a week ago that we left for Lviv! The week had flown by. We've been having a great time exploring and taking in the beauty of the city. Being in Lviv is almost like being in a completely different country. Sometimes it doesn't even seem like we're still in Ukraine. The center, where we spend most of our time, is like any other old beautiful European city. It's an awesome place to get away and have fun as a family. We needed this. 🙂

This is the Opera House. Seth wasn't in a picture mood.

This is a beautiful old palace that was turned in to an art gallery. Fancy!

We climbed the tower of City Hall to get a great view of the city. 420 steps!

We've been having language lessons for about 3.5 hours per day. Our dear friend, Olya, from Kyiv has been here with us to care for the kids while we're at our lessons. She will leave tonight and Jed's parents will arrive to take over the crowd control . 😉 Thank you Olya! We love you to bits!

There's so much to see in Lviv! There are musicians and dancers and magicians and painters…Ezra loves to watch the street performers. I think he could spend all day in the square. I'm loving all the coffee and ice cream. (No surprise there!)

We found a Tex-Mex restaurant owned by an American. So yummy!!! You definitely won't find that in Zhytomyr!

The best sight for me in Lviv: cool handicap accessibility assistance buttons!

I love this so much. Not only is it helpful, it's cool. Superheroes.

Our language lessons have been good so far. It's amazing to be in Lviv where basically everyone is speaking Ukrainian. In Zhytomyr people speak Ukrainian and Russian…and usually a mix of the two. That mixing of languages can make you feel like you aren't learning a darn thing. BUT, being here in Lviv has been a great encouragement to us. We understand so much. We really are learning!!!! Hooray! I have more thoughts on language learning that I'll share in a different post. We've made some big decisions about our language learning that will be painful, but necessary. It's all good! It's all growth!

We'll be here for a couple more weeks, so I'll share more with you later about language and such.

Bye All!

Laundry, Thievery, Schooling, and Such

Posted on August 6, 2014 by kimnjed

Guess what? Yesterday I finished our camp laundry! What? You’re reminding me that we’ve been home for a week and a day? Oh I know. It’s just that there are 7 of us (our friend Maks stayed with us for a while after camp), our washer machine is the size of my pinky finger, and we have no dryer, and my children also had to be fed and stuff like that. Anywayssss, the joy of the empty hampers was great while it lasted. 😉

Yesterday my wallet and my phone were stolen. So sad. The wallet was not such a big deal, there were no credit cards or anything. My Oregon license was in there…but a lot of good it does anyone here. There was about $100 in grivna. The real bummer is my phone. We saved up long and hard to get unlocked phones to bring here…and now it’s gone. It had like 3,000 pictures on it too!!! Many of the pics were backed up, but all the camp pics are gone forever. Addy cried about the lost Romaniv pictures. I cried too. If you could pray that nothing really rotten, like identity theft comes out of this we would really appreciate it. It feels pretty vulnerable to have all my texts and pics just out there in the hands of some stranger. I don’t like it at all. Yuck. Sooooo, if you need to call me you’ll have to go through my secretary. His name is Jed. He’s cute, but kind of forgetful, so you might have to call more than once. Hehe.

On Sunday we leave for our next big adventure. We are heading to Lviv, a city in Western Ukraine, for a Ukrainian language intensive course. Hold me.

In May we started Ukrainian lessons with a teacher in Lviv via Skype. Our lessons are through the Ukrainian Catholic University there and are specifically for foreigners who need to learn Ukrainian. Oh man, it is intense. Our teacher speaks no English during our lesson, but she really knows what she’s doing. It makes our brains hurt, but it’s effective. Since MTU is closed for the month of August, we decided to make a trip out to the University for a language intensive. Our Ukrainian is a bit stuck at the moment, so we are really hopeful that two weeks of brain torture will get us over the hump.

The kids will come along, and Jed’s parents will come from Germany to take care of them in Lviv while we study. That will be fun! Everyone says Lviv is amazing, like the best city in Ukraine, like a completely different world compared to Zhytomyr, so we are super excited to check it out.

Can you spy Zhytomyr and Lviv?

When we get back from Lviv it will time to head back to school! School here starts on September 1st. Addy and Ez will head back to Ukrainian school and Havalah will start homeschool kindergarten (What???? Impossible.). Seth will tag along and join in with Havalah as much as he is interested. Addy and Ezra will transfer to a new school this year. We loved our school last year (Ukrainian public school) and had an awesome experience there. But, there is a Ukrainian Christian school here in town and we decided to try that out this year. It’s 100% Ukrainian, just like the other, but raising disciples of Jesus is their biggest priority. We have many friends through MTU and camp that send their kids there, so we feel like there is greater potential for relationships there. The kids are excited to make the move and to see people they love everyday. There won’t be anyone they know in their class, but that’s okay. Just knowing there are many people there who know us and love us makes this Mommy’s heart feel a bit more settled. I still don’t like them going to school, but it’s necessary for language acquisition, and this seems the most peaceable route.

Sorting school supplies. She is her mother’s daughter.

We still haven’t decided about sending Hava and Seth to the local kindergarten. We would much rather find them a language tutor to come play with them a couple times a week. So, we’re searching for that possibility first.

That’s the skinny with us! This summer has flown by, but at the same time it seems like a lifetime ago that my parents were here visiting. Crazy.

I’ll check in with you from Lviv! Later gators!