This Ukrainian Life | Wide Awake Family

The Big Fat Language Update

Posted on August 23, 2014 by kimnjed

Welp, we’ve been living in Ukraine for nine months now. NINE MONTHS. When I think about it, in some ways it feels like we just got here, but then again it feels like a lifetime ago that we lived in Salem…so, all the feelings are a bit of a jumble.

The biggest struggle, by far, is the language. No surprise there! We always knew language would be a big deal, but I think the more time we spend here the more we realize how big of a deal it actually is. Learning language isn’t just about knowing enough to call a taxi, or get the right food at the store, or pay our rent, or to understand and barter prices at the bazaar, or to communicate with the boys at Romaniv (“Come here, sit down, let’s wash hands, I love you…”). It’s about truly knowing and being known.

Although our time at camp was absolutely AMAZING and life-altering, it also highlighted how much we are missing by our lack of language skills. Don’t get me wrong, we are working hard and we have been working since we arrived, but we still have so far to go. At camp we loved and we were showered with love as well, but still remained a tad on the fringes. Why? Because we can’t truly know or be known at our current level of language acquisition. The only people who we can really know are people who speak English. We love our English speaking friends- no doubt, but we’re missing out on a whole HUGE population of potential friends and loved ones because we can’t get past small talk. To have to rely on translators when it comes to matters of the heart is a HUGE deal that requires huge trust. I mean, if you go somewhere on a short-term missions trip you must use the help of translators and it’s expected. No big deal. But then when you’re done you go back to friends and family who know you and love you for who you really are and all is well. We don’t have that luxury! I’ve traveled all over the world on short-term trips and I never ever realized what a big issue language is for the long-term worker. It’s one of those things you just have to live to understand. The Ukrainian people are the friends and family in our life. I want them to know ME, not a translator’s version of me. The thing we miss most about the US is knowing and being known by dear friends. I am so so so soooooooooo thankful for translators. Oh my word, what a hard job. I don’t want to take that lightly or seem ungrateful. It’s just that their version of me can’t be the real, true me because it’s their take on me and my words. That is just a truth that can’t be helped. Therefore, we simply MUST learn to speak for ourselves- and the sooner the better.

Enter, Language School Intensive! We’ve been studying language since we first touched down in Ukraine in November. We started out studying Russian because in Zhytomyr people speak Russian and Ukrainian and there’s no right or wrong choice. Both languages are useful and accepted. Most of Zhytomyr’s population speaks a mix of Russian and Ukrainian, so it’s actually a bit of a zoo to navigate for newbies like us. Booohoooooo. Anyway, we started learning Russian simply because there are far more resources available to foreigners for learning Russian and we had started with Russian vocab when we were still in the US. Starting in December we had a lovely language tutor who came to our home twice a week to help us with Russian. All was fine, but because of the holidays and a teeny tiny REVOLUTION! we didn’t make a ton of progress.

Then in February Addy and Ezra started school. Well, school is taught 100% in Ukrainian and all the homework is in Ukrainian. A lot of good our Russian did us then. Oh my. Not fun. So, after about a month of school we decided we needed to ditch Russian and start learning Ukrainian. It’s probably a good idea for the whole fam to be learning the same language, am I right? The problem then arose of who would teach us? Our teacher didn’t feel comfortable teaching Ukrainian because she is primarily Russian-speaking. No, the two languages are not the same. We asked and searched but couldn’t find anyone who could/wanted to teach Ukrainian. It’s hard to teach your own language to foreigners! Then we found our God-send: Ukrainian Catholic University here in Lviv. *cue Hallelujah Chorus! They have been the answer to our prayers. They have a program for foreigners to learn Ukrainian as a second language. YESSSSSSS!

We started distance learning via Skype in May. (Yes, that means we went from March to May with no lessons. I know, not good. But, we do have 4 kids…and we are working and figuring out public school…and, and, and…oy.) Each week Jed and I would each have two, hour-long individual lessons with our Skype tutor. Irina is great. She knows very little English, and during our lessons she speaks no English. So during May and June we learned a lot! We didn’t have lessons in July because we were gone at camp. July was one big, neverending lesson. Ha! We can understand much more than we can say. We actually understand a ton and in many situations we can get our point across- in a very toddler-like way. 🙂 We can read and we can write…but oh man, we have so very far to go.

And that all brings us to the present. We are currently in the middle of a 3 week language intensive here in Lviv at the Catholic University. Jed and I are alone in a classroom with a tutor and we have 4 lessons per day. It has been fantastic. Truly, I think this was one of our best decisions yet. I am so thankful that God led us to this program. They took us right at our level and we are learning so much. I so wish we could hit pause on our life and study language full-time for a few months. Really. Of course it’s not possible, but I can still wish for it! 🙂

So, what’s our plan for language learning when we get home? Here we go (PS: this is where it gets crazy):

1. We will resume individual Skype lessons twice a week, and maybe add a third lesson each week if we can afford it.

2. We will arrange our life schedule in such a way that language study is given more of a priority. We will each study independently for a minimum of 1 hour per day (hopefully 2 hours on most days)- alone, isolated, without children, without interruption.

3. And the biggie: We will NOT speak English to any of our Ukrainian friends. Hold me.

Here’s the deal. We speak English too much. Our closest Ukrainian friendships are with English speakers. We all want to go beyond toddler conversation, so we speak English together. Well guess what? We sure aren’t going to improve our Ukrainian that way. So, we choose to humble ourselves and embarrass ourselves for the sake of long-term benefit. Of course we’ll speak English to each other and to our kids, but if you are Ukrainian you aren’t gonna get any English from us (of course we’ll use the help of translators for work meetings and Romaniv staff communication). Oh my, it’s going to be quite painful. I don’t relish the idea at all. But, it’s simply got to be done. We’re pulling the English plug.

So there you have it, The Big Fat Language Post. It’s getting kind of long so I’ll write about the kids and language a little later. If you have any questions, ask away!

*The pictures are from our various adventures here in Lviv. Grammy and Papa are here helping us with the kidlets. YAY!!!!

Laundry, Thievery, Schooling, and Such

Posted on August 6, 2014 by kimnjed

Guess what? Yesterday I finished our camp laundry! What? You’re reminding me that we’ve been home for a week and a day? Oh I know. It’s just that there are 7 of us (our friend Maks stayed with us for a while after camp), our washer machine is the size of my pinky finger, and we have no dryer, and my children also had to be fed and stuff like that. Anywayssss, the joy of the empty hampers was great while it lasted. 😉

Yesterday my wallet and my phone were stolen. So sad. The wallet was not such a big deal, there were no credit cards or anything. My Oregon license was in there…but a lot of good it does anyone here. There was about $100 in grivna. The real bummer is my phone. We saved up long and hard to get unlocked phones to bring here…and now it’s gone. It had like 3,000 pictures on it too!!! Many of the pics were backed up, but all the camp pics are gone forever. Addy cried about the lost Romaniv pictures. I cried too. If you could pray that nothing really rotten, like identity theft comes out of this we would really appreciate it. It feels pretty vulnerable to have all my texts and pics just out there in the hands of some stranger. I don’t like it at all. Yuck. Sooooo, if you need to call me you’ll have to go through my secretary. His name is Jed. He’s cute, but kind of forgetful, so you might have to call more than once. Hehe.

On Sunday we leave for our next big adventure. We are heading to Lviv, a city in Western Ukraine, for a Ukrainian language intensive course. Hold me.

In May we started Ukrainian lessons with a teacher in Lviv via Skype. Our lessons are through the Ukrainian Catholic University there and are specifically for foreigners who need to learn Ukrainian. Oh man, it is intense. Our teacher speaks no English during our lesson, but she really knows what she’s doing. It makes our brains hurt, but it’s effective. Since MTU is closed for the month of August, we decided to make a trip out to the University for a language intensive. Our Ukrainian is a bit stuck at the moment, so we are really hopeful that two weeks of brain torture will get us over the hump.

The kids will come along, and Jed’s parents will come from Germany to take care of them in Lviv while we study. That will be fun! Everyone says Lviv is amazing, like the best city in Ukraine, like a completely different world compared to Zhytomyr, so we are super excited to check it out.

Can you spy Zhytomyr and Lviv?

When we get back from Lviv it will time to head back to school! School here starts on September 1st. Addy and Ez will head back to Ukrainian school and Havalah will start homeschool kindergarten (What???? Impossible.). Seth will tag along and join in with Havalah as much as he is interested. Addy and Ezra will transfer to a new school this year. We loved our school last year (Ukrainian public school) and had an awesome experience there. But, there is a Ukrainian Christian school here in town and we decided to try that out this year. It’s 100% Ukrainian, just like the other, but raising disciples of Jesus is their biggest priority. We have many friends through MTU and camp that send their kids there, so we feel like there is greater potential for relationships there. The kids are excited to make the move and to see people they love everyday. There won’t be anyone they know in their class, but that’s okay. Just knowing there are many people there who know us and love us makes this Mommy’s heart feel a bit more settled. I still don’t like them going to school, but it’s necessary for language acquisition, and this seems the most peaceable route.

Sorting school supplies. She is her mother’s daughter.

We still haven’t decided about sending Hava and Seth to the local kindergarten. We would much rather find them a language tutor to come play with them a couple times a week. So, we’re searching for that possibility first.

That’s the skinny with us! This summer has flown by, but at the same time it seems like a lifetime ago that my parents were here visiting. Crazy.

I’ll check in with you from Lviv! Later gators!

Pure Magic.

Posted on July 30, 2014 by kimnjed

The candles were lit, white lights twinkled overhead. The room was decked out in red and white, tablecloths smoothed, plates laden with treats. We were ready. I looked out the window to see the ones I love gussied up in their finest, smiling for the cameras like the stars that they are. Moms surrounded them with pride in their eyes, snapping photos left and right, attempting to capture this moment and never let it go.

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It was our last night at camp and time for our “Ladies and Gentlemen” evening. A night created to honor our campers and let them know how we cherish them. A night without parents, a night to feel young and free, grown up and proud. A night made for them to take with them for the rest of their lives.

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We opened the doors and applauded our dear ones as they entered the room arm and arm with their precious volunteers. Oh how their faces beamed with pride and excitement. They looked absolutely stunning- each one. Pure magic.

Every volunteer had written something special for their camper, and as each one was called up we cheered and hooted and hollered. We told them they looked beautiful. We read beautiful words about them, telling them how they are seen by their friends. Some had grins you couldn’t wipe off if you tried, some blushed furiously, shy with the praise, a few wept, and I know I joined them. 🙂

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Oleg shared a poem and dessert was served. I flitted from table to table, wanting to savor each face in my mind, wanting to cement this night in my heart. Volunteers, our waiters and waitresses for the night, served our guests like royals. Feeding those who couldn’t feed themselves, holding hands and pushing wheelchairs, wiping drool and crumbs, smoothing skirts and jackets, refilling cups and sharing conversation. The cream of the crop were there that night- Zhytomyr’s finest- young people who have chosen to ignore their culture’s definition of value and choose to see with eyes of the Kingdom.

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A waltz was shared and all were invited to join. A tall volunteer bends low as he invites a beauty in a wheelchair to join him in a dance. She laughs big as another volunteer cuts in. Every soul celebrated and treasured.

We ended the night with fireworks and the joy on each face was indescribable. Kingdom of Heaven come to earth. God’s Kingdom come here and now- on earth as it is in Heaven.

I wish I could transport each of you back to that night with me. I wish you could see and feel the joy in the room. I want you to meet those we love so. Roma, Vitaliy, Dasha, Natasha, Luba, Andrei, Vitya, Rostik, Oksana, Vika, Anton, Olya, Maxim…real people with real hopes and dreams. They may be limited by their bodies, but there is no limit to God’s love for them. They are of infinite value and worth. They are worth it. They are worth time and effort and energy and love. They aren’t a diagnosis or a mystery in a chair. They are beloved sons and daughters and sisters and brothers and friends, and on Sunday night they were celebrities. 🙂

I won’t be the same after this last month. Our whole family is changed. So much was solidified in our hearts and many, many times this past month my heart knew there is no place else I’d rather be. Yes, it is often difficult. Yes, the language barrier makes me want to scream. Yes, we feel like outsiders much of the time. Yes, sometimes we are lonely. Yes, we miss our family (so much). Yes, we miss our church (so much). Yes, we miss one-stop shopping and dryers and the coast and the beauty of Oregon. But our hearts know where they belong. Our hearts belong in a town full of those broken in body but alive and awake in spirit. Our hearts belong in an institution of the broken and forgotten. Our hearts belong with the royalty of Sunday night and with those who served them.

Praise God for knowing so much better than we do. Praise God for those who have gone before us and paved the way in a society that says their work is of little value. I just can’t thank God enough for placing our family here. Not every day is lollypops and roses, and someday soon I will share some of our struggles. But beyond all that I am thankful. God has flooded our hearts with love that only comes from Him and I can’t even express to you in words how much we love our Ladies and Gentlemen. They are absolute treasures.

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How is this our life? Somebody pinch me.

Special Visitors!

Posted on June 24, 2014 by kimnjed

Hi! Wow, it’s been quiet around here! BUT, for good reason. Grams and Papi (my parents) are here visiting! YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!! So, I’d apologize for the lack of blogging, but I’m sure you all understand. The last thing I want to do when I have my family here is sit down at the computer. HA! There’s so much to show them, so many people for them to meet, so many foods to try, so many Seinfeld episodes to watch together….time is precious. But, they’re still sleeping this morning, so I thought I should take the time to share about their visit so far.

Grams and Papi arrived last Sunday evening and they had a BIG surprise in store for our kids. They brought along our 10-year old nephew Isaiah! Oh man, I can’t even tell you how many times we almost blew their secret. But, we somehow managed to keep our mouths shut and when they walked out of baggage claim with Isaiah in tow the kids freaked out appropriately. They have been having a BLAST with their cousin. Addy and Isaiah are just a few months apart in age and have always been close. So, this was just about this best surprise our kids could have gotten.

Here we are at the airport for pick-up. Addy must have jumped up and down continuously for about 20 minutes when she saw Isaiah. 🙂

Catching up on long-lost Lego play

So far we’ve taken them all over Zhytomyr, and yesterday we spent the day in Kyiv. My dad has all the Kyiv pics, so I can share those later. I can’t even tell you how much it means to us to be able to take them around our new home. Now they can picture the people and places we talk about when we Skype. Now they understand our life a bit and it just makes all of us feel better. 🙂

Isaiah has done so great here! What an awesome traveler! He’s tried all the food, walked many miles, and even learned a few words in Ukrainian. He’s been a bit homesick the last couple days, but that’s not bad for a 10-year old being so far from home.

Ezra is so special…

We had smoothies at our favorite little cafe

My eyes disappear when I’m really happy 😉

This was probably my favorite day. We took them to our bazaar and we just had a great day. My dad took pictures of blushing Babushkas. Lots of laughs.

We went to the local park with a few rides. The kids couldn’t wait to show Grams the rides since they know she loves Disneyland. Hahaha! Not quite Disneyland…but still fun. 🙂

Can you tell Ezra’s been watching The Sandlot?

This picture was taken after church on Sunday. Aren’t they cute?

Approximately four minutes after that last photo we were caught in a TORRENTIAL downpour. You can either laugh or cry…right?

The highlight of the visit so far, for me, is last Friday. My parents got to come to Romaniv with me. I’ve been wishing and waiting for that moment since we first visited Romaniv in 2012. This is the reason we are here. It is so important to me that my family really “gets it”. They have always been supportive of our move. Although they are sad we live so far away, they never told us no. They knew this was what God had for us, but that doesn’t make it easy to have your kids all the way across the world.

I needed them to see the faces and hug the bodies of the ones we came here to serve. I needed them to see why with their own eyes. So, Friday was my dream come true.

Friday was also Addy’s first time to come help on the team. She did great! She has really taken ownership of the work at Romaniv. She has memorized the names of the boys and listens when we describe their personalities and needs. She has been begging to come help this summer, and the Directors said it was fine. How special that she got to go with Grams and Papi!

Isaiah and my dad leave on Friday and my mom stays for ten more days. I’m trying to treasure every moment without thinking too much about the fact that they leave so soon.

Could you pray with us? Although we’ve had a great time, both of my parents have been sick on this trip. 🙁 My dad got a bad head cold that seems to be improving, but he still has a lingering cough. Ukraine has not been kind to my mom’s stomach. Yesterday in Kyiv she was pretty miserable and today she seems even worse. It’s such a bummer! I really want them to be well so we can enjoy these last couple of days to the fullest. Thanks for your prayers!

Anyway, I just can’t say enough about how much it means to have visitors here. I know it’s expensive to get here and not exactly a vacation locale, but it blesses us SO MUCH when people come and see our new world. We have had the best time. I don’t want it to be over!!!! 🙂

Sunday Mornin’ Meetin’ Time

Posted on June 1, 2014 by kimnjed

Today as we were getting ready for church I thought, “Hey! I should take pics of going to church today!” So I did. That’s how brilliant revelations come to me. Isn’t it miraculous?

It’s not all that exciting, but I figured some of you out there might be interested in our Sunday morning routine here in Ukraine. So, here ya go!

8:15am– I wake up and realize the time. I wonder how my children can still be sleeping, and then remember they stayed up far too late last night. Aha! We need to leave for church at 9:30 if we’re gonna make it in time.

Let the Sunday morning rush begin. You know it well. Rummaging through piles of laundry for something presentable that doesn’t need ironing (because who has time for that?), scrounging up a quick breakfast to keep the ravaging wolves at bay, reminding everyone again to please brush their teeth, trying to find matching socks for the Littles, and then giving up and just putting on the closest two that semi-fit. Are we the only ones that don’t lay everything out the night before like we should? Yeah, we could, we should…but isn’t this way so much more fun? Hehe…

Someone decided to get all gussied up in his Sunday best!

9:45am– We should have left 15 minutes ago in order to walk to the bus stop, catch the bus, and then walk the rest of the way to the church, but we didn’t. Now we’ll need to catch a taxi along the way. In the past when we were running late we would call a taxi to come to our house and take us to church. Well, after multiple failures going that route, we found it’s much easier to just find a taxi on the way. Apparently our street is impossibly difficult for taxis to find, AND there’s another street in town with the same name as ours. Eight times out of ten they end up going to that other street. So, we started asking them to come to the street by our street, but would still end up waiting a long time. Finding our own taxi saves everyone a lot of Sunday-morning-church-prepping-sanity (which the other mommies out there know is in horrendously short supply).

Yeah, our street doesn’t handle rain all that well…

We walk to the place where a couple taxis usually park and find a willing party. For about $1.50 we get a quick ride to church. Sweeeeet.

Jed, the taxi-wrangler

Seth always likes to sit in the middle so he can watch where we go.

Married women have to cover their heads at our church. Like the look? Haha! (Hava was mad because she wanted to sit next to Addy) 🙂

10:00am– Kids are dropped off in Sunday School class and church begins. Havalah and Seth are trying out the 4-6 year old class this week since they like to be together and Seth turns 4 this week. Woot! Up till now they’ve been in the 3 year old class. Addy and Ezra go to class together with 9-11 year olds.

Church is mostly in Ukrainian, with a good smattering of Russian thrown in for confusion’s sake. 😉 Our pastor speaks Ukrainian in church, but the guy who preached today preached in Russian. Our church here in Ukraine is VERY different than our church in Salem. They’re almost as different as they could be. Really. It’s like a whole new world. There is a choir, no clapping, lots of Babushkas, lots of special solos, lots of standing up and sitting down all together, and only a piano. Every week different children sing or recite Scripture and elderly people recite poems or Scripture. I really love how every age group is involved in every service. There is much I miss about our home church. MUCH. But, we know this is where God has us for now, so we learning and we are content. Today there was a baby dedication, so that was super cute. 🙂 Also, today a Babushka loaned us her hymnal (everyone has their own) to use during the hymns, so that was fun to be able to sing along. We need to buy our own. We just keep forgetting!

12:00pm– I leave the service to go pick up the Littles. Church isn’t over yet, but if I wait until church is over to go pick them up they are the only ones left, so I’ve picked up the idea you’re supposed to pick them up at noon, even if the service is still going.

I take them outside to play and Addy and Ez soon join us. Addy’s teacher said a few kids from their class are singing next week and she wants Addy to recite a Scripture. Fun!

12:20pm- Church is out and Jed FINALLY comes outside. (Some things never change, eh Salem Vineyard peeps? Hehe) Apparently I missed out big time. After I left to go get the kids the pastor introduced our family to the church. Oops. Welp, at least Jed was there to represent. It’s fairly obvious that I belong with him, so it’s probably okay that I wasn’t in there…still, oops. 🙂

We walk to the bus stop and wait for the trolley bus to take us on home. And that is that! Another Sunday morning come and gone. Now I’m sitting here all cozy with a big ol’ cup of coffee, the kids are playing, and Jed’s on a date with Havalah. I’m so happy to not have to think about the kids’ homework I’m almost giddy.

Happy Sunday to you!