Adoption | Wide Awake Family

About a Boy

Posted on January 25, 2015 by kimnjed

One year ago, at seven years old, he was transferred to our institution. We were shocked when we saw him. He was so beautiful. His skin was soft and unblemished, his eyes were bright, his smile mischievous. We said he didn’t belong in that place of suffering, but honestly, no one does.

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The nannies doted on him, laughing when he only wanted to eat milk and cookies instead of borscht. They would sneak him candy and rub his soft cheeks.

Then time moved on, and the darkness weighed down on him. Those bright eyes and that beautiful smile began to fade. Children are not made for institutions. Children are made for families- and he had none.

By spring he was less social. He allowed us to hold him, but didn’t seek out the physical affection like he had before. Soon he began to self-harm- just a bit- and not always, mostly just when he was stressed.

Summer came and he was regularly self-harming. We tried to take him to the Sensory Room but he would cry and try to escape. There are so many of them and so few of us, we had to focus our precious Sensory Room time on boys who would tolerate the therapy. And in the background he was fading away.

Fall brought brisk wind and the time had come for us to stay inside. When we would arrive for our visits we rarely saw him up walking in the hall. He was more and more often found in bed, arms restrained in an effort to keep him from harming himself. He would smile when we entered his room. We would stand over his crib talking softly to him and he would laugh. Then we would take the restraints off, hoping to give him some moments of love and he would cry, reaching for the restraints and the comfort they had come to provide. It was almost as if he knew he needed them- he knew he couldn’t help but self-harm- and he had no Mommy or Daddy to protect him from himself. I remember never wanting to leave him on those fall days, but having no choice.

December came along and he was almost always in bed. I do remember one day, December 12th, when he was up and had a light in his eyes- almost like before! We all praised him and cuddled him and hope filled our hearts. He and I played in the hall for quite a long time and I was reminded of how far he had come from the boy he used to be. But I hoped he was coming around.

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Then came January and our hopes were dashed. He stays in bed all the time now. He doesn’t smile when people enter his room now to fetch him from bed, in fact he doesn’t smile at all. He is like a ghost boy. He is a shadow of his former self and we are lost on how to help him. The nurses and doctors try music and massage and attention, but he only declines. It seems that he has given up.

The thing is, I don’t blame him. He is only a boy- yet he is without a childhood. He suffers day after day and he has no one to comfort him. Overworked nannies simply can not give him what he needs. The nurses are stumped and worry night and day about him. I dream about him at night. His eyes have no light. He is a shell.

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But it doesn’t have to be this way. You see, out of 80 boys at our institution only 12 are available for adoption, and he is one of them. He is legally free to have a family, and now we need to find them.

Do you have room at your table for one more precious child? Do you have room in your heart for one more invaluable soul? No, I cannot tell you how he will develop or if he will ever speak or if he will ever live on his own. I cannot tell you how he will respond to a Mommy and Daddy or how long it will take him to trust or how long before he will accept your love. But I can tell you that he is valuable and he was created with purpose and he is worth any inconvenience adoptive parents could encounter on his behalf.

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Please stop and pray. Please ask God how you should respond. We are watching our boy waste away before our very eyes and I almost want to beg for someone to come take him away. But all I can ask of you is to be open to saying yes.

Open your heart and trust that if God is asking you to respond He will give you everything you need to do what He is asking you to do.

Time is of the essence.

*Any serious inquiries can be sent by email or left in a comment. I approve the comments before they are published, so if you want your comment to be private it will stay that way.

The Most Important Post

Posted on November 19, 2014 by kimnjed

November is a good month. We have two family birthdays, it’s Thanksgiving, the holiday season begins, the weather is cozy, and it’s National Adoption Month! Did you know? Have you heard? There is a whole month designated for sharing about the plight of orphans and the blessing of adoption. Yep, that sounds just about perfect to me.

We’ve been sitting on some important information for a few months now, considering how, when, and where we would share our hearts. Well, now is the time and here is the place. After all, it is National Adoption Month!

With a bit of fear and trembling I’m going to share, and then I’m going to ask you to prayerfully respond. There are many different great responses, and your response will likely be different than mine. For the sake of our Boys, every response is important.

The work we do, and Mission to Ukraine has done for many years at Romaniv is important and necessary. It is life-altering for our Boys. Boys who were once strangers that flinched at touch and cowered from any human interaction are now dear loved ones who come scooting and crawling and hobbling as soon as they hear our voices. One boy who used to avoid eye contact at all cost now seeks out our gaze and will sit forehead to forehead with Jed as the guitar is played- just looking into Jed’s eyes. No words, just a look. It is enough for us to see that God is doing miracles.

And yet.

No work we do could ever be more beneficial than a family.

No treatment could ever be as effective as the love of a family.

No weighted vest could be more comforting than a mother’s arms.

No helmet could offer better protection than a father’s embrace.

This work we do is a stopgap. It is the next best thing possible in this situation. But it is not a family, and it is not nearly enough. There is no future for our Boys here. Even if our dreams come true and we build group homes where they can be loved and cared for, it still won’t hold a candle to a life spent as part of a loving family. There are nannies at Romaniv that do care for the Boys deeply, but they face an impossible task. How can 2 nannies care for more than 20 boys with severe disabilities and do an even satisfactory job?

Most of the boys and men at Romaniv are not legally free to be adopted. Either their parents still maintain their parental rights, or the boys are over the age of 18 which prevents them from being adopted. To those boys and men we commit to doing whatever we possibly can to love them, care for them, and give them a future worth living until they day they are made whole in heaven.

Some of our Boys, though, ARE available for international adoption. We haven’t shared this with you before for several reasons that might be hard to understand. There are many layers to this. We feel protective of our Boys and the work that is being done; we want to avoid any exploitation; we have a relationship to maintain with the orphanage directors that requires vigilant care. Nothing about this is simple, so we tread lightly with steps full of prayer. And yet, one of our Boys is not thriving. He is wasting away before our eyes and we can’t stand by and watch without acting. He is ill and will never thrive in an institutional setting. He needs the best medical care. He needs a nutrition plan. He needs therapy of all kind. Most of all he needs a mommy and daddy to love him as their son- to believe in him, to fight for him and shower him with affection. We are compelled to act and we can’t hold off any longer. Time is of the essence.

So I’m asking that you see our Boys. I’m asking that you stop and see them for the treasures they are. See their immense value. See their precious beauty. Consider their lives as weighty as your own and ask the Lord how you should respond to this knowledge that some of them are waiting for families. If you follow Jesus you are called to care for the orphan in some way. Even if you don’t believe in Jesus I bet you can agree that this is a justice issue that can not be ignored.

“Learn to do right; seek justice.
Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow.” Isaiah 1:17

Maybe you are supposed to pray. A million times thank you! Prayer is important and essential. Any of the progress that’s been made has only come through the power of the Holy Spirit. Our Boys need prayer!

Maybe you are supposed to give financially to help improve the quality of life for our Boys. Yes! Thank you so very much! None of this would even be happening if we didn’t have faithful financial supporters on the team.

Maybe you are supposed to adopt. Please don’t dismiss this response. I am confident that some of you who read this are called to respond through adoption. Children were made for families! Children were not made for institutions. One hour spent at Romaniv will prove that point. I must warn you though that any romanticism concerning the adoption of one of our Boys ends with the fuzzy feelings you may be feeling as you read this post. It will not be romantic. It will be a hard road and much faith will be required. But- it will be a road worth walking. I am confident of that. Orphans are very important to our God and He has gone to great lengths to prove His love for these particular Boys. He will not allow the world to forget them now, and He’s not about to forget them when they step out of Romaniv’s gates.

I was with these Boys yesterday. I held them in my arms. I kissed their cheeks. I held their hands so they wouldn’t harm themselves. They are real people. They were created with purpose and God has good plans for them. I can’t even imagine one of my four children living like our Boys. I can’t imagine my Ezra, nearly 9 years old but the size of a toddler, sitting day after day rocking back and forth in his bed. I can’t imagine him sitting and sitting and waiting and waiting for his life to begin. I can’t imagine not going to him and taking him out of that place. Our Boys are as real as Ezra and they are as deserving of love as he. They were created with just as much purpose and intentionality. They were created in the image of God and God does not make mistakes.

There you have it. Now you know, and I now I humbly ask you to respond. I ask you to stop and pray and ask the Lord what He would have you to do. Please pray that adoptive families would step out with boldness and faith. Any serious inquiries can be emailed to kjohnson@wideawakeinternational.org and I would be happy to talk with you more. If you have questions about what adopting an institutionalized child looks like in real life I can connect you with adoptive parents who have walked that path.

Please share this post and give our Boys a voice this month. Thank you!

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.” Proverbs 31:8

Celebrity Sightings

Posted on May 11, 2013 by kimnjed

Today I had a celebrity sighting, Ukraine style.

Ever since this journey began in 2010, we’ve been on the lookout for people in Ukraine doin’ the stuff. “The Stuff” being, outrageous obedience to God. We’ve been on the lookout for people who are living lives Wide Awake, lives that don’t make sense to the world, but make perfect sense when you’re talking The Kingdom. Lives lived on the edge of their seat…awaiting the Fathers voice.

About 2 years ago, while on the lookout for such people, I stumbled upon the Malone family. Chris and Mary Malone first had 4 healthy biological kids, and then their 5th child, Ethan, was born with an extra chromosome and their lives were changed forever. Their eyes were opened, like ours, to what life is like in Ukraine for orphans born with Down Syndrome, like Ethan. Since then they have adopted 4 precious kiddos from Ukraine, all with Down Syndrome. My kind of people!

After I’d been following their story for a while I read that they were moving their family to Ukraine! Okay, definitely my kind of people! Last year Jed and I tried to meet the Malones when we were in Ukraine, but they had just recently moved and the timing didn’t work out. Well, today it worked out and it was seriously like a celebrity sighting! 🙂

God has opened the doors for Chris and Mary to be able to minister to other local families who are raising children with disabilities. He has provided a wonderful home where they can welcome mothers in and encourage them as they navigate raising their special children. What a breath of fresh air! Absolutely brave and beautiful and humbling and awe-inspiring.

Olya and I got to meet up with the Malones and attend a special Easter program for kids with disabilities and their families. Puppets, cartoons, singing, beautiful children free to be who God created them to be, smiling mothers relieved to see their children accepted and embraced. We loved it!

Thank you Chris and Mary for your obedience to do what may sound crazy to a lot of people. I think it’s radical and amazing and I can’t wait to join you in the craziness. 🙂

You can follow the Malone’s journey here: http://malonesinukraine.com/

After the program we headed to Chris and Mary’s house to chat and meet some other pretty special celebrities!

Randy, Cephas, and Lucia Kacirek.

I can’t even tell you how happy I was to see those faces in the flesh.

I’ve been following the Kacirek’s adoption journeys (yes, plural) for some time now. I love Tina’s heart and her writing. Talk about people living on the edge of their seat!

Randy and Tina just adopted Cephas and Lucia from an orphanage here in Ukraine. Randy and the kids have been staying with the Malones as they await their flight home.

I wish I could adequately explain the beauty. Cephas and Lucia were both “laying down” children. Both unable to walk, they laid and waited for years and years. Now they are chosen! It is unbelievable. The Kacireks met Cephas and Lucia in 2010 while they were in Ukraine adopting one of their sons. They fell in love. In the fall of 2012 the kids were moved to a different facility and Lucia made sure the caregivers knew she wouldn’t be there long “My parents are coming for me”. When Tina asked Lucia if she ever worried when many months had passed and they hadn’t returned to Ukraine for her. Lucia replied “No, I wasn’t worried. I knew you would come.”

To read more about Lucia and Cephas I really encourage you to read these two posts (at least):

http://kacirek.blogspot.com/2013/03/announcing-lucia-marietta-kacirek.html

http://kacirek.blogspot.com/2013/03/i-waited-long-time-going-deeper.html

You will not be sorry.

Their stories are of the amazing redemptive work of God. He’s always rooting for the underdog. He’s always behind the scenes: moving hearts, making ways, smoothing paths. How did Lucia maintain such hope- despite her hopeless circumstances? She was literally adopted in the knick of time. She was about to age out and be lost in the system for the remainder of her days. Yet she knew. She had faith. Both Cephas and Lucia have such life in their eyes. Cephas could talk your ear off in a minute flat. He doesn’t miss a beat! Lucia was telling Olya her story, and about how she so happy to have a family now, with a mommy and a daddy- every child’s dream.

Thank you Randy and Tina for keeping your hearts Wide Awake. It was worth it for those two treasures.

I wish each one of you could just spend 5 minutes with Cephas and Lucia Kacirek, with Ethan, Matthew, Micah, and Eliana Malone. Six beautiful children created with purpose and destiny, now called son and daughter, sister and brother- all because some people said yes. The Malones and Kacireks would tell you they aren’t celebrities, or superstars (though I might beg to differ), they are just people who said yes- Wide Awake.

Please don’t turn away because the need is overwhelming. The need is great, but God is greater. We can’t respond only to need. We see the need, our hearts are broken, but we respond to His voice.

If He says pray, pray!

If He says give, give!

If He says go, go!

If He says adopt, adopt!

Every yes is valuable. Every yes is beautiful. Just say yes to your yes!!! DO IT!

Olya has a new friend 🙂

100

Posted on April 4, 2013 by kimnjed

Welcome to Post #100 for our wee little blog!!!

Hmmmm…what to do to celebrate the 100th post? What I really need to do is write about money. But, I don’t want to do that for post 100. You’ll have to stay tuned for the big money post. 🙂 Watch out, it’s a’comin’!

The other day I was feeling all inspired to write about building altars in remembrance for all God has done on this journey, but at the end of the day when I sat down to write I just wasn’t feelin’ it. The post was getting waaaaaay too long because God has just done waaaaaay too much. I realize that’s a very good thing, it just doesn’t work to make a very long post. Ha!

Then I thought maybe I would write a list of 100 of something…you know, like kindergartners take 100 buttons to school on their 100th day of kinder….something like that. But, then I thought that would also make a very long post. Annnnd considering my living room floor is covered in legos, my Hava-lu is sitting on the couch with the puke-bowl next to her after throwing up at least 10 times this afternoon/evening, the dishes are undone, and there is a new mountain of laundry waiting for my attention (thanks to my too late delivery of the puke-bowl), I really don’t have time for a long post. Actually, I probably don’t really have time for a short post, but I’m resting my legs and procrastinating, and I’m the Mommy, so I can. 🙂

So….in honor of our 100th post I thought I’d highlight a few of my favorite posts along this journey. It’s always good to look back and remember all that God has done. Consider this a shortened version of my way-too-long altar post. 🙂

Beginnings. I love this post because it was the first. I was heartbroken when I wrote it, but I can see God’s smile in it now. We had lost our baby, our dream. But God knew all along what our true dream was. I picture Him standing over my shoulder as I cried and typed, waiting on pins and needles to show us what He really had in store for us. It seems like a lifetime ago!!


“Jonah” the one who started it all. We will love you forever sweet baby boy

My Uncle. I miss my Uncle Gary. He was gentle, humble, giving, and loving. I am so thankful God used what seemed to be an impossible situation to bring our hearts together. Thinking of him makes me smile.

Foster Care Ponderings 1, Foster Care Ponderings 2, Foster Care Ponderings 3. – Writing this series on foster care and our experiences was super therapeutic for me. Fostering was the best and hardest thing we’ve ever done. If you have any interest whatsoever in fostering, please, please read these posts. Read and ask the Lord how He would have you respond. He is only asking for willing hearts, not superheros! Do it! Do it! Do it! (I get a tad passionate about fostering…)

Introducing…our Son!– This is a fave, for obvious reasons. Seth changed our lives forever. He was our unexpected bonus for staying in Salem when all we wanted to do was travel the world- and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Romaniv.- I have no words. Amazing day. Amazing boys. Even more amazing now that we know we get to back. 🙂

The Day We’ve Been Waiting For.- God moved mountains to make this day happen. It was absolutely miraculous!!!!! It just goes to show you that He is able to do more than we could ever ask or imagine. Man does not have the final say. God does. Word.

We Had No Idea.- Seth’s story. I pray as he grows he will understand how much he is loved, how many people prayed for him, and how hard we fought for him. Love love love my baby.

Carried.- This post is a good reminder to me that God is there even in our darkest hour. He speaks life and love into our hearts when we need it most. He is our healer and His promises are true. Thankful. 🙂

Thanks to all of you for following our journey and encouraging us along the way. It’s crazy to think about what we initially started this blog for, and what it has become. His ways are sooooo much higher than our ways.

I can’t wait to see what life will be like when we write post #200!

My Look Back

Posted on January 6, 2013 by kimnjed

2012. What a year.

I think I can safely say this has been one of the biggest years of my life. I think I can also safely say, based on the happenings of 2012, that the biggest years are yet to come.

Our lives changed so dramatically in 2012 that it’s hard to put myself in the shoes of “January 2012 Kim”.

2012 was a year of God meeting us every step. He spoke to us in 2011 that He has big plans for us and we just need to “keep walking” and He will make the way. My heart is full of thankfulness for how our God kept His promises. He met us, and He continues to meet us.

On March 21, 2012 we welcomed Seth into our family forever. The son of our hearts became our legal son. What a day. I can not imagine our lives without our baby. He is our joy, talking a mile a minute, loving trains, interested in big boy undies (Lord help us!)…our unexpected gift. Sometimes I forget that Seth is adopted and when I’m reminded for some reason and stop in that moment to think about it I simply can not believe he didn’t grow in my belly. He was meant for us in every single way. He fits us like a glove and we fit him. God met us in the hospital 2 years ago when we first met our baby, and He met us in the courtroom that precious day when He gave us our baby for keeps. Thank you Jesus for our sweet boy. Yay 2012!!!

April 2012 brought life changes in extreme measure. April wins the trophy for my favorite month of 2012. We spent the month in Ukraine and we will never ever be the same. God met us there. He met us in the moment we stepped off the plane and awkwardly made our way to our hostel with the help of random kind strangers. He met us in the walls of Romaniv orphanage where our eyes met and we realized what we were created for. He met us in the courtyard of the Lost Boys institution where we locked eyes and hearts with the boys whose lives grabbed our attention those many months before. He met us in the moments of friendship and laughter with Ukrainian believers He placed in our path. He gave us friends for life in Kiev, Zhitomir, Odessa, and Kremenchug. Every step we took along that journey was ordained by Him. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and your voice that guides our every step.

The summer of 2012 brought the beautiful gift of friendship. New friends invaded our hearts and for that I weep with gratitude and a HUGE smile on my face. We are loved by many, and for that I can’t thank Him enough. God answered so many prayers with friends this year. He knows just what we need. 🙂

In September we sold off loads of our stuff. God met us in that moment in a big way. We had asked God to show us where we would live so we could save up money for Ukraine. The night before our garage sale He sent our wonderful, generous friend Luke to offer his home to us for free. We stepped. He met us. He is too good. He is too faithful.

October 2012 saw us moving in with Luke and securing renters for our house with a 5-year lease (HA!). Again, He met us. Again, overflowing faithfulness, overflowing goodness.

December 2012. From the inside looking out it’s hard to know what to say about this month. We’ve experienced great personal loss and sadness this month and some moments the sadness feels almost suffocating. My heart aches and my soul hurts…but then I look back. I recount what the Lord has done. I see how He met us every step along this crazy roller coaster of a year. Will He not meet us now? The word He spoke to us at the end of 2011 is still the word for us today: “Keep walking and I will make the way”. This unexpected turn in our path is not an exception to that word. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Look and see what the Lord has done!! His promises remain and His goodness remains.

Now we look forward to 2013. My mind can’t even fathom the plans He has in store for this year. I’m not even going to try and figure it out. 🙂 I’m just going to say “yes” to Him every day and see what comes of it. When my heart wants to bury itself in sadness I lift up my eyes and remember this past year. I look at my 4 babies and my beautiful husband, and my heart soars with gratitude for my God and His overflowing faithfulness and goodness.

I trust you Jesus. Whatever you want to do with us this year- you do it. We are yours and I mean that. I mean it with every fiber of my being. I don’t want to live for myself and my good ideas. I don’t want to live the version of my life that seems right and comfy to me. I want to be spent for You. I’ll let You decide how that should look.

So here’s to 2013! May we live with our hope in Jesus and may we spend ourselves for Him.