Ask, and Keep on Asking

We have been so privileged and honored to have an amazing medical team here from Germany the past couple of weeks.  I tear up every time I think of them.  They are with our Boys right now and I feel so incredibly humbled that they would take time off work and spend their own money to serve our boys with their whole selves.

Having them here beside us, fighting for our Boys right along with us, has been absolutely humbling and awe-inspiring.  I am changed because of it. You see, I know, and Jed knows that our Boys have tremendous value.  No one needs to prove that to us.  They are our babies.  Jed and I were talking about it the other night,  and I can honestly say that we have to come to the point where we love them as much as we love our own four children here at home.  I’m a mother of 90.  🙂  We would go to the ends of the earth for our Addy, Ezra, Havalah, and Seth.  And so we would for our 86 other children that languish in isolation, hidden, thrown away by society.

Having the German team here has made my mama heart swell.  Watching their tenderness with our babies, their tenacity in not settling for second best, the way they have risen up and made this fight for dignity their own, well, it has shown me even more how valuable our boys are.  You see, during the past months as we were planning this trip for the German team we were a bit nervous (mostly I was…haha).  I kept wondering if the team members would think this cause was of value.  I wondered if they would really be able to help and if they would feel that coming to our Boys was a good use of their time.  In that worrying I was devaluing our babies.  I was assuming that no one would love them like we do, that no foreigners with prestigious medical degrees and full patient loads at home would want to “feet on the ground” fight for them.  What was I thinking?????  The team immediately valued our Boys and have fought tooth and nail for them over the past couple of weeks. The team members have grown to love the boys immensely, and through their love I have been inspired to press on for even further for our boys.

They deserve it.

We are their voices.  If we stay silent about their potential and their need and their reality, then who will speak for them? So, I will ask and keep on asking.

Do you have room for one of our loves at your table? 

They have no future here.  We are fighting to give them one, but still, no future we can provide could adequately replace a family.

Yes, they are broken.  Yes, they have been traumatized.  Yes, they have medical needs.  Yes, they will require hard work and endless hours of sacrifice on the part of the adoptive family.  Yes, adoption is expensive- in every way.  Yes, they have experienced things no human being should ever have to experience and yes, they are scarred from those experiences.

BUT

Did you know that they are absolutely beautiful?  Did you know that Ben smiled for the first time in his life last week?  Did you know it was a moment of rejoicing and the whole room exploded with cheers?  Did you know Isaiah’s face lights up when a familiar voice calls his name? He’s really ticklish too 🙂 Did you know Micah has an amazing personality??  He has us all in stitches so much of the time.  Did you know Stephan laughs a deep-down belly laugh when you spin him around and around?  In those moments he is so handsome.  Did you know that Alex loves Jed?  Did you know he is so helpful and his face absolutely beams when he knows he has been a good helper?  Did you know Jonathan might just have the most beautiful smile in the whole institution?  He comes running over when he sees us and his smile melts my heart every time.  Did you know Aaron sat calmly on my lap the other day and took my arm to wrap it around himself?  Did you know he is happiest outside and loves the feel of the sun on his face?

These are our babies.  We went to the end of the world for them and we’ll keep right on going.  This week is the third week in a row that our team has been at the institution every single day.  Great gains have been made, yet with more time spent,  more ugliness has been exposed.  These boys are not just a sad or romantic idea.  They are precious creations of God and they should not have to live the way they live.  It is injustice heaped upon injustice.

Their very lives are being stolen from them, but we are not helpless to change that!  There are seven who are adoptable, who have a chance at a different life and we will not stop fighting until that chance is realized.

If you know you can not adopt, would you pray?  Would you donate to their adoption funds and help ease the financial burden for the families who step up for them?  Would you share their faces with all of your friends and family?  Would you be a voice for them?

But maybe you could adopt?  Why not you?  If you have never considered it would you please consider it now?  Our two littles, Ben and Isaiah, are truly living on borrowed time.  They simply can not wait forever.  Our Alex and Micah must have committed adoptive families by the end of this year or they will lose their chance forever.

I’m just gonna ask and keep on asking.  They’re our babies and we will not stop fighting for them. It’s my mama duty.

*Click on the names to donate to their adoption grant fund. 

*To find out more information about the Ukrainian adoption process please contact the awesome team at Hand of Help in Adoption.

*Please feel free to contact me for more information about the individual boys.  I would be happy to answer your questions!

IMG_2184Ben

IMG_2183Isaiah

IMG_2193Micah

IMG_2157Alex

IMG_1052Stephan

IMG_2163Jonathan

IMG_2192Aaron

Revisiting Yes.

A couple weeks ago at church a young guy came up to me that I’d never met before.  He spoke some English and wanted to try out his skills, so we chatted for a bit.  He said “I heard you guys work at the orphanage for sick children and now you will take one of them home to be your son!”  I said yes, he was correct that we are in the process of adopting one of our Boys and then proceeded to proudly show him lots and lots of pictures of our special boy on my phone.  As soon as he saw the pictures his face fell.  He was obviously a little shocked, and obviously a little confused at my proud exclamation of how sweet and cute and special our boy is.

Then he asked the question that I’m sure many have wanted to ask, but so far no one else has been brave enough to utter:

“Why?  Why would you do this?  I don’t understand.  Why?????”

I paused for a second, happy that he had the guts to say what was really on his mind, because it was definitely written all over his face. 😉  I answered with the simple truth:

“Because we love him, God asked us to, and we said yes!”

It’s a simple truth, but there is a lot more behind it, a lot more led up to it, and there is a lot more weight that goes along with it.

This adoption yes was not a simple yes.  Much prayer, many tears, many conversations and sleepless nights led to this yes. In fact, many years of “yeses” led to this yes.

I remember in 2010 when our Ukraine story first began.  We knew that God was asking us to say yes to adopting a little boy from Ukraine with multiple special needs.  Oh boy, that was a hard yes to come to.  There was nothing simple about that.  We had always been open to adoption.  We were fostering our Seth at that time and were really hoping we would be able to adopt him.  Adoption and orphan care was important to us!  But I always said I could never adopt a child with a disability.  No way!!!   Willingly take on a child that would remain a child for life?  Knowingly adopt a child that would never live alone and would need my care for all their life?  Give up the dream of retiring someday with Jed and traveling the world together (child-free!)?  Heck no!  Are you crazy????  Who would do that??????  That would be so hard!  I guess some people are meant for that life, but not us.

Oh how the times have changed…hehe

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I remember back in those days, praying about that certain boy who needed a family.  I couldn’t get his face out of my mind. I  couldn’t forget him, even if I wanted to.  I began to rethink my reasons for saying no to him.  The more I examined my line of reasoning the more my argument sounded rather lame.  All my reasons for saying no were because I wasn’t willing to lay down my life and my comfort.  I really, reeeeeeeally like to be comfy.  Oh I love comfy clothes, comfy socks, comfy shoes (no heels here!), comfy hoodies, comfort foods, comfy chairs, a comfortable salary, a comfy house, friends I can be super comfy with.  And most of all I love a comfy future.  I like to know what’s coming and I like to like what I know is coming.  I don’t like things that make me uncomfortable- like exercise, hard manual labor, and things that are out of my control.

Misha H.

Saying yes to adopting a child with severe disabilities is the exact opposite of comfy.  It’s inviting stress and pain and hard work and expenses and a lot of “out of control” moments into my life.

BUT,

God doesn’t call us to lives of comfort.  He doesn’t call us to lives of free and easy living where happiness and security are the ultimate goal.  He says to us “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matt. 16:24-26)

Friends, living a “chasing-comfort” life is no life at all.  Jesus says that the only way we can save our own lives is to give them up for Him. That’s not a call to comfort- it’s a call to sacrifice.  There’s just no way to put it lightly.  Once I considered what Jesus was willing to do for me, how could I say no to a little one so in need, in order to tend to my own comfort?  Ick.

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That original adoption didn’t work out, but you probably know that that is what God used to turn our hearts to Ukraine.  And here we are now, saying yes to our special boy.

Please hear me.  I am soooooo not talking down to you right now.  I am not the pro at sacrificing my comfort- just ask my husband and kids.  I fail at it all the time.  I’m still learning and I thank God for his patience with me.

The thing is, now I see what I almost turned down in favor of my comfort.  I see it in the form of our most precious boys at Romaniv.  I see it in my Dima as he sits on a plywood bed, foot tied to the slats to keep him from falling off.  I see it in my Misha when he cries, so unaccustomed to human touch that a hand on his shoulder is too much to bear.  I see it in my other Misha who has lived at Romaniv since 1987 in one single hallway, his world shrunk by injustice.  I look into the faces of my precious boys who I love like my own children and I mourn how their lives have been stolen from them for the sake of others’ comfort.  I know these boys.  Over and over again I wish I could sit down with you and just tell you all about each of them. They are AMAZING.

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Misha T. (2)

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How could we say no to them in favor of ourselves?  The world has said no to them over and over and over to the point where almost no one even knows of their existence.  It’s just not right.

I usually prefer to keep this blog upbeat, but today I’m calling you out.  I’m asking you to set your comfort aside for the sake of the yes.  This life is not all that there is.

There are boys who sit on wooden slats and never feel the grass on their feet or the sun on their face. Their lives are void of all comfort.  

There are people being sold into slavery for the pleasure of others. No comfort to be had there.

There are children sleeping on county office floors because there is no foster family to take them in.  No mommy and daddy to comfort them when they cry.

What will you do with your yes?  Will you pick up your cross?  Will you sacrifice your life for the One who gave His whole life for you?  Will you see past your comfort and your 401k dreams and your comfy couch and rise up?  We can do something about these injustices!  We must do something.  

Vladik W.

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Your yes means something.  It may mean everything to the someone who needs it, the someone sitting on a plywood bed.

The friend from church, the one who asked us why we would do this crazy adoption thing?  He said yes and visited our boys with us the next week.  As we were riding home in the car he said: “I spent the morning with the boy you are adopting.  Now I see!  I see why you would love him.  He is great!  He is so smart!  He is just…..great!!”

There is so much joy in the yes.  What will you do with yours?

*Several of our boys need adoptive families who will say yes to them.  Would you pray about that yes?  You can read more about those boys here and here.

BIG, FAT ANNOUNCEMENT!

  

The secret is out! 

The Johnson family is expecting!

We are so happy to share the wonderful news that we are pursuing the adoption of one of our Boys!  This is something that God has had in the works for about 5 years, unbeknownst to us.  We’ve been working fast and furiously since January, and if all goes well we should have a new son this summer! 

Due to the nature of adoptions in this country, and because of our unique living situation and relationship with the insitution, we can’t announce publicly who we are adopting until the judge makes it final.  What a glorious day that will be!

Right now we have compiled our dossier and it is here in country being translated.  All we are waiting on is USCIS (US immigration) approval and then our dossier can be submitted to the adoption authorities here, and we pray pray pray they will accept it!  

Everything about this situation is unique, so we just aren’t sure what will happen.  All we know is that God said to step forward, so that’s what we are doing, and it is our joy.  (Not to say there haven’t been a few sleepless nights during this process!)

Hands of Hope, our friends, and wonderful partners of Wide Awake, have supported our Boys for many, many years.  They were loving our boys before we even knew they existed!  They have been such a support to us during this process, and now they have gifted us with a $4,000 MATCHING GRANT to help with adoption costs!  We are so thankful!!!  YAY YAY YAY!!!

Adoption is super stinkin’ expensive and so many people already support our Boys so faithfully, so it felt a little strange for us to ask for help with adoption costs.  Then Hands of Hope came along and offered this help.  Wow.  God is so amazing.  

Would you like to help us get one of our Boys home?  You would?????  Fantastic!  Here’s how:

An adoption fund/account has been set up for us by Hands of Hope, through Lifesong for Orphans. If enough people give donations to total $4,000, then Hands of Hope will donate another $4,000 for a grand total of $8,000!!!!!
*donations are tax-deductible and 100% of all donations go toward this adoption*

MAIL CHECKS TO
Lifesong for Orphans
PO Box 40
Gridley, IL 61744 

You MUST must note our Family name and account number in the memo so the money gets put in our fund. (Johnson/#5279)

ONLINE
Go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate , scroll down and select “Give to an adoptive family”. Fill out the form, including our name and account number (Johnson/#5279).

Thank you dear friends and family for loving us, for loving our Boys, and for your support in this YES.  We absolutely can not wait to see what love can do.  We absolutely can’t wait to see how God will use this rescue mission to speak to the hearts of directors and nannies and Ukrainian people.  He is writing a beautiful love story, and we are humbled to our knees to be a part of it.  🙂



PS:  Just an FYI, no Wide Awake funds have been used, or will be used to fund this adoption.  We felt like we needed to make sure you all know that.  If you have questions about the financial part of this at all, don’t hesitate to ask! 


PPS: Did you know you can sponsor our Boys through Hands of Hope?????  Oh yes you can!  I’m working on a big fat post about that.  Look here for a sneak peek.


Wanted: Four Loving Families

Oh man, today is your lucky day!

Today is the day I introduce you to some beautiful treasures.

I promised that I would begin to advocate in earnest.  I warned you this day was coming.  Woohoo!

There are 9 boys that I have been told are available for adoption.  For some months we have been in the process of verifying with the government department of adoptions that yes, they are 100% legally free for adoption.  At this point I have confirmation on 4 of the 9 boys, and we are waiting on the rest.

So, let’s meet the first 4!

*FYI, I’m giving them alias names to protect their identities.  

Meet Alex!Oh my friends, this boy is precious.  Alex came to Romaniv when he was 7 years old and now he is 15.  We have until the end of this year to find him a family and then he will “age out”, meaning he will become to old for adoption.  We can’t let this happen because this boy deserves the love of a family.  Jed and I both agree that he would make a FABULOUS son.  He is such a helper!  Last summer, when the weather was nice, we would take the Isolation boys outside and some of the big boys who have more freedom would join us.  Alex was always in that group.  He would run to help us push wheelchairs, or gently take our blind boys by the hand.  Every week when bananas are being served he is sure to be seen helping the less capable boys with their bananas, making sure no one steals from anyone else.  PRECIOUS.

In 2011

His first picnic!

Alex doesn’t speak, but I wonder if he would, if he were given the chance for love and security?  I know it might sound scary to adopt a 15 year old, but this sweet boy is not your average 15 year old.  He has never had the experiences my 6 year old has had.  He is a responsible helper, but he is also like a little child.  Precious, precious boy.  Someone please see this treasure!!

Meet Stephen!Stephen is one of our Isolation Hall treasures.  We want a family for him so desperately.  He is 12 years old, but really about the size of a 6 or 7 year old- just an itty bitty thing.  The nannies say that he is blind, but we believe he can at least see shadows.  He always wants to be near the window- especially on sunny days.  There are two places you can usually find Stephen- either standing under the window at the end of the Isolation Hall, or sitting on a chair in the kitchen, waiting for the next meal.

Where he spends most of his days

Jed was describing Stephen’s behaviors to a woman in the US who works with children with visual impairments and she said that his description matches many children they work with who have sensory issues surrounding their vision.  She said that for some of those children they can actually be taught to see!  Stephen is extremely sensory-seeking and needs to feeeeeeeel the world around him  🙂  He loves to spin, flap his arms, spin some more, run, spin, you get the idea.  He has absolutely no sensory input at Romaniv- so he has to create it himself.

Last summer

He does not speak and displays many institutional behaviors.  He is NOT harmful or aggressive to himself or others.  He is absolutely adorable and has so.much.potential.  He is more than a diagnosis.  Please see our Stephen!!  I have video for interested families.  🙂

Meet Micah!Okay, Micah.  Ridiculous cuteness.  To know him is to love him.  Micah has lived with the big boys for many years, but only recently has been staying in the Isolation Hall.  He gets severe headaches and they put him in with our Boys when that happens.  Our volunteer team absolutely fell in love with him over the past month.  He is so funny!  He speaks and always says “thank you” and “goodbye”.  Somehow he is super polite!  It’s hilarious to see it in that environment.  I have awesome video for interested families.  You just have to see this boy in action.  His pictures don’t do him justice.

In 2008

In 2011

Micah turns 16 this year and we just have to find him a family by the end of the year or he will age out.  One very important consideration is that he has a brother who was born in 2001 and they must be adopted together.  Unfortunately we don’t know anything about this boy.  He is in another orphanage.  I know, I know, this is a lot to take on.  But please, don’t turn away.  I truly believe God can do anything- even provide a family for Micah and his brother.  🙂

Annnnnd last but not least…

Meet Jonathan!Jonathan is the boy I know the least from this group.  I simply haven’t spent much time with him.  He used to live in the Isolation Hall, but shortly after we moved here he was moved to the big boy group.  He is 12 years old, but about he size of an 8 year old.  He came to Romaniv from the baby house orphanage when he was 5.

In 2008. SO CUTE.

Last summer. Working hard! 🙂

We’ve heard that Jonathan has a heart condition, but I really need to get that verified.  He is described as kind and cheerful and I heard from one volunteer that he always helps the nannies clear the table after meals.  🙂  I will try my best to find out more information about him, I just didn’t want to delay getting his face out there.  Are you out there Mommy and Daddy?

So there you have it.  There’s the first of our 9.  I hope to tell you about the rest as soon as I get confirmation of their availability.

I know they are not little babies.  I know that you might not fall in love at first glance.  But I can vouch for their value.  I have met them.  I have held each of them in my arms.  They are not just pictures and diagnoses and ages.  They are real boys- as real as my own sons.  I can vouch that God’s plans for them are of no less value than his plans for my own sons.  They have spent their growing up years thus far in a place no person should have to live for one day- let alone years.

Their childhoods have been stolen.

But it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Please stop and ask the Lord how He would have you respond.  If you can’t adopt, will you at least help me share them with the world?  My faith is big.  There are adoptive families out there.  We just need to introduce them to their sons.  🙂

If you are interested or would like more information please contact me!  You can comment here or email me at kjohnson@wideawakeinternational.org

*Thank you to Mission to Ukraine for the pictures of the boys when they were little!

The Beauty in the Journey

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If you’ve been reading this blog long enough you know that learning how to mother my kids in a new culture has been a big fat challenge for me. It was something I worried about before we moved, and it was THE something I worried about once we landed. Isn’t worrying awesome? It’s just so productive! Not.

It’s just that parenting is hard enough, and then you throw in lots of factors that make our family really “different” and things get downright confusing! I’ve found that we don’t really fit anywhere these days, when it comes to parenting. We don’t fit Ukrainian standards because, well, simply put, we aren’t Ukrainian! We can speak the language (work in progress) and buy the right clothes and eat the right food, but at the end of the day, we’re still Americans. We think differently than Ukrainian parents and we were raised differently than our Ukrainian peers. Culture is so HUGE. There are things we do similarly to Ukrainian parents, but we are also quite different. We could try to be the same, but at our core we’ll always be different- and that’s okay.

But- now we don’t really fit American standards either! For one thing, we don’t live in America, so that changes a whole heck of a lot right there. Many things that are expected for a “normal” childhood in the US just aren’t available or possible here. Our kids are having a completely different childhood than Jed and I had. It’s difficult not to have the same expectations in my heart for them, because all I know is a typical American childhood…yep, not gonna happen for our crew. And that’s okay!

It can feel very “Lone Ranger”ish, parenting so far away from our home culture. I don’t have mom friends I am close to here who are parenting kids around the same ages of ours. I miss the support of others who were going through the mothering stages alongside me. I miss bouncing ideas off each other over coffee and gaining wisdom from others. I miss my kids having friends. I miss having moms around me who are “one step ahead” on the journey. I miss watching them and learning from them. Most mothering and parenting books are really hard for me to read here. It can be discouraging because so much of what is written is based on the assumption that you live in America and have all that is available there, or that the mom’s only focus is on the home and she has no outside responsibilities.  It’s hard to explain, but when I read those books in the middle of this life we are living, it almost seems like they are books from another planet.

Honestly, parenting in this situation (or any situation) is just stinkin’ hard work.  Awesome, but still stinkin’ hard. Am I right?  People ask “How do you do it all?” Um yeah, I don’t. I can’t. Things fall by the wayside. My house is messy. I just paused writing to tell Seth not to throw knives- truth. My kids get lonely. Laundry piles haunt my dreams. I lose my patience daily (or hourly). Homeschooling can get sporadic and is often unorganized. I get lonely. I read mommy blogs (why do I do that?) and feel guilt that I don’t do crafts with my kids.  I want to get up early but instead I stay up too late at night.  I don’t follow through. And on and on and on.

So, yeah I can’t do it all, but I’m sorta, kinda starting to come to grips with the fact that the Johnson family is on our own journey and ours doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s journey. There is beauty in this particular journey and it’s pointless to waste time wishing it looked differently. I mean, this is the journey God created us to walk. Sooooo I should probably learn to be good with it.

Our kids are loved.
Our kids have each other. They love each other.
Our kids are learning to love and value those who the world has cast aside.
Our kids are learning a new culture and a new way of doing things- and their world is bigger because of it.
Our kids are learning what it is to say YES to Jesus.

I finally feel at peace in mothering, probably for the first time since we moved! I have seen little glimpses lately of the fruit and I see that our journey is beautiful in it’s own way.

-Addy announced to me yesterday “Ezra and I are just best friends lately! We just love each other! We’re hoping to keep this going on for as long as we can.”
-When it was dark out, Seth reached out to help Hava down the stairs to our yard. “I know the dark steps scare you Hava. Hold my arm.”
-Hava asked “Mom, which Romaniv boy would you choose first to come live at our house? I couldn’t choose, they’re all just so cute!”
-Every time we come home from Romaniv Ezra wants to see the pics of the boys right away. He loves them.
-Seth said “Mom, I can share Boris with daddy because he needs a daddy too.”

I write all this to say, own your own journey. God’s Word and God’s grace apply to every life situation- regardless of location. Parenting books and parenting seminars are great (I would love some of that right about now!)- but what is the greatest is saying YES to God when it comes to your children. Don’t compare your journey to your friend’s or your neighbor’s or some random blogger’s. The details of their lives are not the details of your life. Their journey is not your journey. Their kids are not your kids.
(Preaching to myself, FYI)

Teach your kids to say YES to Jesus by saying YES to Jesus yourself.
The rest is sprinkles on top. 🙂