Yes | Wide Awake Family

FOUND.

Posted on February 5, 2015 by kimnjed

Not a lot of words needed today.

VLADIK IS FOUND.

A family has found their boy. Vladik doesn’t know it yet, but in just a few months, Lord willing, he will be a beloved son, orphan no more.

We are rejoicing and we can’t wipe the grins off our face or the tears off our cheeks.

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Oh the joy he will bring to his family. UNBELIEVABLE.

The family wishes to remain private right now, until they are further along in the adoption process. There are many unknowns in adopting from this country, so please pray with us for a speedy process with favor all along the way. Just know that they are doing everything they can to get to their boy as quickly as possible! We will share more when we are able.

Hold on baby boy, Mommy and Daddy are comin’ for ya! WAHOOOOO!!!!!

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” John 14:18

About a Boy

Posted on January 25, 2015 by kimnjed

One year ago, at seven years old, he was transferred to our institution. We were shocked when we saw him. He was so beautiful. His skin was soft and unblemished, his eyes were bright, his smile mischievous. We said he didn’t belong in that place of suffering, but honestly, no one does.

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The nannies doted on him, laughing when he only wanted to eat milk and cookies instead of borscht. They would sneak him candy and rub his soft cheeks.

Then time moved on, and the darkness weighed down on him. Those bright eyes and that beautiful smile began to fade. Children are not made for institutions. Children are made for families- and he had none.

By spring he was less social. He allowed us to hold him, but didn’t seek out the physical affection like he had before. Soon he began to self-harm- just a bit- and not always, mostly just when he was stressed.

Summer came and he was regularly self-harming. We tried to take him to the Sensory Room but he would cry and try to escape. There are so many of them and so few of us, we had to focus our precious Sensory Room time on boys who would tolerate the therapy. And in the background he was fading away.

Fall brought brisk wind and the time had come for us to stay inside. When we would arrive for our visits we rarely saw him up walking in the hall. He was more and more often found in bed, arms restrained in an effort to keep him from harming himself. He would smile when we entered his room. We would stand over his crib talking softly to him and he would laugh. Then we would take the restraints off, hoping to give him some moments of love and he would cry, reaching for the restraints and the comfort they had come to provide. It was almost as if he knew he needed them- he knew he couldn’t help but self-harm- and he had no Mommy or Daddy to protect him from himself. I remember never wanting to leave him on those fall days, but having no choice.

December came along and he was almost always in bed. I do remember one day, December 12th, when he was up and had a light in his eyes- almost like before! We all praised him and cuddled him and hope filled our hearts. He and I played in the hall for quite a long time and I was reminded of how far he had come from the boy he used to be. But I hoped he was coming around.

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Then came January and our hopes were dashed. He stays in bed all the time now. He doesn’t smile when people enter his room now to fetch him from bed, in fact he doesn’t smile at all. He is like a ghost boy. He is a shadow of his former self and we are lost on how to help him. The nurses and doctors try music and massage and attention, but he only declines. It seems that he has given up.

The thing is, I don’t blame him. He is only a boy- yet he is without a childhood. He suffers day after day and he has no one to comfort him. Overworked nannies simply can not give him what he needs. The nurses are stumped and worry night and day about him. I dream about him at night. His eyes have no light. He is a shell.

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But it doesn’t have to be this way. You see, out of 80 boys at our institution only 12 are available for adoption, and he is one of them. He is legally free to have a family, and now we need to find them.

Do you have room at your table for one more precious child? Do you have room in your heart for one more invaluable soul? No, I cannot tell you how he will develop or if he will ever speak or if he will ever live on his own. I cannot tell you how he will respond to a Mommy and Daddy or how long it will take him to trust or how long before he will accept your love. But I can tell you that he is valuable and he was created with purpose and he is worth any inconvenience adoptive parents could encounter on his behalf.

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Please stop and pray. Please ask God how you should respond. We are watching our boy waste away before our very eyes and I almost want to beg for someone to come take him away. But all I can ask of you is to be open to saying yes.

Open your heart and trust that if God is asking you to respond He will give you everything you need to do what He is asking you to do.

Time is of the essence.

*Any serious inquiries can be sent by email or left in a comment. I approve the comments before they are published, so if you want your comment to be private it will stay that way.

Valiant

Posted on January 11, 2015 by kimnjed

Welcome 2015!

2015 sounds so futuristic, like we should all be wearing shiny suits and ordering our meals from a robot or something. I wouldn’t mind the robot thing. Less time spent in the kitchen? Yes, please.

Last year I gave myself a theme to live by for the year: “Let Go”. Ooooh that was a tough one. It seems like as soon as I thought I had let go of something in my life, I would turn around and pick it back up just as fast as I could. I think I grew some in that area of letting go of expectations and letting go of what I thought my life should look like, but I’m not sure I did a very great job of grabbing on to Jesus with that empty hand. It’s so easy to try to fill our cups with other things- the approval of others, entertainment …whatever. I’m still on the letting go journey, and probably will be till Jesus comes back. 🙂 It’s a daily decision, to let go and grab Jesus. Steady on, steady on.

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This year I have a new theme! This one scares me a bit, but I know I need it. So…here goes…

VALIANT.

adj. “Possessing or showing courage or determination”

VALIANT.

I like the sound of that, but I’m a little afraid of what the doing of that will mean.

Check out the amazing synonyms of “valiant”: courageous, fearless, gallant, gutsy, heroic, indomitable, intrepid, noble, plucky, stout, strong-willed, adventurous, assertive, audacious, bold, dauntless, gritty, magnanimous, nervy, spunky, stalwart, steadfast, stout-hearted, undaunted, undismayed, lion-hearted, fire-eating.

FIRE-EATING????? Bring it. Ha! LION-HEARTED? Wow.

It’s so much cozier to go the safe route, to do the comfy thing. Valiant sounds cool, but it seems hard.

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There are so many times during this past year in Ukraine when I knew I needed to be brave, I needed to possess and show courage and determination, but I wimped out. I wimped out because I was afraid, because being determined and courageous was inconvenient, because I relied on myself and my own strength. I regret those times, and I regret the outcomes of those times.

If I truly believe that God is a good Father; if I truly believe that His ways are higher and He has called me to this life, then what do I have to fear? I want it to be only by His strength that I go. One of the roots of the word valiant is from a Middle English word meaning “well-built”. This mission, this dream for our Boys here in Ukraine is not a Kim dream. It’s a God dream- my valor, my courage, my determination, my bravery only exists because I am representing Him. I need to be well-built in Him. Strong in God alone. I’m only valiant if I represent the King.

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I need to speak Ukrainian more- even though I know I’ll make mistakes and sound like a child.

BE VALIANT. Speak out. The only way to learn is to make mistakes and learn from them. Dauntless.

I need to study Ukrainian more faithfully, Even though at the end of the day I’m tired and it’s the last thing on the planet I want to do.

BE VALIANT. Possess determination. It will be worth it. Gritty.

There are things we need to address at Romaniv that are not pretty. They are issues decades-long in the making. A few feathers may be ruffled, but it is necessary.

BE VALIANT. The Father of the fatherless goes before us. What do we have to fear? Fire-eating.

Jed and I both know that God is asking some pretty huge things of us this year. He’s been stirring our hearts and whispering in our ears and nudging our shoulders. We are excited but afraid. Is God truly good enough to catch us as we step off a massively high ledge?

BE VALIANT. BE BOLD. HAVE COURAGE. SHOW DETERMINATION. STEP OUT. SAY YES.

What’s holding me back? What’s holding you back? I don’t want to look back on this life and regret what could have been if I would have lived valiantly- if I would have courageously said yes even when I was afraid.

Join me! Don’t be held back any longer. God goes before you and His love never fails.

*The pictures are of Romaniv in the snow. So pretty 🙂

The Most Important Post

Posted on November 19, 2014 by kimnjed

November is a good month. We have two family birthdays, it’s Thanksgiving, the holiday season begins, the weather is cozy, and it’s National Adoption Month! Did you know? Have you heard? There is a whole month designated for sharing about the plight of orphans and the blessing of adoption. Yep, that sounds just about perfect to me.

We’ve been sitting on some important information for a few months now, considering how, when, and where we would share our hearts. Well, now is the time and here is the place. After all, it is National Adoption Month!

With a bit of fear and trembling I’m going to share, and then I’m going to ask you to prayerfully respond. There are many different great responses, and your response will likely be different than mine. For the sake of our Boys, every response is important.

The work we do, and Mission to Ukraine has done for many years at Romaniv is important and necessary. It is life-altering for our Boys. Boys who were once strangers that flinched at touch and cowered from any human interaction are now dear loved ones who come scooting and crawling and hobbling as soon as they hear our voices. One boy who used to avoid eye contact at all cost now seeks out our gaze and will sit forehead to forehead with Jed as the guitar is played- just looking into Jed’s eyes. No words, just a look. It is enough for us to see that God is doing miracles.

And yet.

No work we do could ever be more beneficial than a family.

No treatment could ever be as effective as the love of a family.

No weighted vest could be more comforting than a mother’s arms.

No helmet could offer better protection than a father’s embrace.

This work we do is a stopgap. It is the next best thing possible in this situation. But it is not a family, and it is not nearly enough. There is no future for our Boys here. Even if our dreams come true and we build group homes where they can be loved and cared for, it still won’t hold a candle to a life spent as part of a loving family. There are nannies at Romaniv that do care for the Boys deeply, but they face an impossible task. How can 2 nannies care for more than 20 boys with severe disabilities and do an even satisfactory job?

Most of the boys and men at Romaniv are not legally free to be adopted. Either their parents still maintain their parental rights, or the boys are over the age of 18 which prevents them from being adopted. To those boys and men we commit to doing whatever we possibly can to love them, care for them, and give them a future worth living until they day they are made whole in heaven.

Some of our Boys, though, ARE available for international adoption. We haven’t shared this with you before for several reasons that might be hard to understand. There are many layers to this. We feel protective of our Boys and the work that is being done; we want to avoid any exploitation; we have a relationship to maintain with the orphanage directors that requires vigilant care. Nothing about this is simple, so we tread lightly with steps full of prayer. And yet, one of our Boys is not thriving. He is wasting away before our eyes and we can’t stand by and watch without acting. He is ill and will never thrive in an institutional setting. He needs the best medical care. He needs a nutrition plan. He needs therapy of all kind. Most of all he needs a mommy and daddy to love him as their son- to believe in him, to fight for him and shower him with affection. We are compelled to act and we can’t hold off any longer. Time is of the essence.

So I’m asking that you see our Boys. I’m asking that you stop and see them for the treasures they are. See their immense value. See their precious beauty. Consider their lives as weighty as your own and ask the Lord how you should respond to this knowledge that some of them are waiting for families. If you follow Jesus you are called to care for the orphan in some way. Even if you don’t believe in Jesus I bet you can agree that this is a justice issue that can not be ignored.

“Learn to do right; seek justice.
Defend the oppressed.
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
plead the case of the widow.” Isaiah 1:17

Maybe you are supposed to pray. A million times thank you! Prayer is important and essential. Any of the progress that’s been made has only come through the power of the Holy Spirit. Our Boys need prayer!

Maybe you are supposed to give financially to help improve the quality of life for our Boys. Yes! Thank you so very much! None of this would even be happening if we didn’t have faithful financial supporters on the team.

Maybe you are supposed to adopt. Please don’t dismiss this response. I am confident that some of you who read this are called to respond through adoption. Children were made for families! Children were not made for institutions. One hour spent at Romaniv will prove that point. I must warn you though that any romanticism concerning the adoption of one of our Boys ends with the fuzzy feelings you may be feeling as you read this post. It will not be romantic. It will be a hard road and much faith will be required. But- it will be a road worth walking. I am confident of that. Orphans are very important to our God and He has gone to great lengths to prove His love for these particular Boys. He will not allow the world to forget them now, and He’s not about to forget them when they step out of Romaniv’s gates.

I was with these Boys yesterday. I held them in my arms. I kissed their cheeks. I held their hands so they wouldn’t harm themselves. They are real people. They were created with purpose and God has good plans for them. I can’t even imagine one of my four children living like our Boys. I can’t imagine my Ezra, nearly 9 years old but the size of a toddler, sitting day after day rocking back and forth in his bed. I can’t imagine him sitting and sitting and waiting and waiting for his life to begin. I can’t imagine not going to him and taking him out of that place. Our Boys are as real as Ezra and they are as deserving of love as he. They were created with just as much purpose and intentionality. They were created in the image of God and God does not make mistakes.

There you have it. Now you know, and I now I humbly ask you to respond. I ask you to stop and pray and ask the Lord what He would have you to do. Please pray that adoptive families would step out with boldness and faith. Any serious inquiries can be emailed to kjohnson@wideawakeinternational.org and I would be happy to talk with you more. If you have questions about what adopting an institutionalized child looks like in real life I can connect you with adoptive parents who have walked that path.

Please share this post and give our Boys a voice this month. Thank you!

“Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.” Proverbs 31:8

ONE YEAR!!!

Posted on November 13, 2014 by kimnjed

One year. ONE YEAR! Today marks one year since we landed in Ukraine to start this crazy new journey. We’re calling today our “Ukraine-iversary”.

I remember the elevator door opening in to the baggage claim at the airport in Kyiv. I remember looking around and wondering how on God’s green earth were we going to get all 12 suitcases, all 4 carry-ons, all 5 personal items, the guitar, and all four children from baggage claim, through customs, and to the van that we hoped was waiting for us.

And then. Then I saw frantic waving through the sliding door as it opened and closed past customs. There were at least 8 friends from Kyiv Vineyard with HUGE smiles on their faces, waiting to help us out the door. Oh the relief. Those dear, sweet friends will never understand what the moment meant to me. We were not alone. We had loved ones waiting for us. And that’s how it has been along this whole journey.

Now some of those who greeted us are like our Ukrainian family. Now Vasya, the driver who I hoped and prayed really would be waiting for us, is a loved friend who drives us to and from Romaniv almost every single week.

What a journey. What.a.journey.

This year has been full.

Full of laughter, and full of tears. Full of hugs and kisses, and full of loneliness. Full of learning, and full of humility. Full of intense joy and intense grief. Full of being a stranger, and full of absolute belonging.

But most of all, this year has been full to the brim, and then overflowing with blessing.

God has blessed us this year beyond our wildest dreams. His goodness has been without end. This has been the hardest year of our lives, but also the absolute best year of our lives. There have been days when we felt like the craziest people on the face of the earth, but God has walked beside us every second.

You know what’s exciting? This is just the beginning!!! One year is like nothing! We’re just scratching the surface of the plans God has for the special boys and young people we serve. The dreams He has been giving us are even wilder and crazier and bigger than before.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU a million times THANK YOU for walking with us on this journey. Thank you for your prayers, your encouragement, your comments, your emails, your financial support, your care packages, your love.

We are blessed to have you on the team.

To celebrate this most awesome Ukraine-iversary we have brought back the BeLOVE[d] t-shirts!

We will be selling the shirts until the end of the month, and 100% of the proceeds will go toward the transportation of our volunteer teams to and from Romaniv. They are Jesus’ hands and feet to our Boys and your support helps them (and us!) get there as often as possible.

Check out the sale at www.booster.com/wideawakeinternational