The Value of a Life

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“Did you just end up on this earth?  Was it all an accident?

The Bible says it wasn’t an accident.  It was a plan.  

You didn’t just end up here.  God put you here on purpose.   

God wanted you here, and he had to have you here right now.  Because he has a wonderful plan for you- something that only you can do.

Every single thing about you- the color of your eyes, your name, what you love, every day you will live- God knew before time began.

Even before you were born, he loved you.  You began in God’s heart.

You are his.  Made by him.  Made for him.”

Thoughts to Make Your Heart Sing, by Sally Lloyd-Jones

 

A young man the size of a small boy rocks back and forth in his bed tonight.  He is surrounded by others just like him, yet he is alone.  In the bed next to his, another boy hits his head with his hand over and over, his attempt to feel something.

I’m not there with them, but I know what they are doing.  I know because it is what they are always doing- every hour, every day, every week, every month, every year.  Their lives are empty shells.  They’re here on this earth, but not truly living.

On Tuesdays and Fridays a group of smiling people come to their room and offer them love and bananas, but with vacant eyes they can’t seem to respond or engage.  They shrink away from touch and scream when too much unexpected action occurs.

Their lives consist of one hallway with several identical rooms, where every day is the same.

And there they live out their days, so alone- like dead men walking.

And yet, their lives have infinite value.

Each one lovingly formed and crafted in his mother’s womb.  Our Father God has always known every single detail about them.  He knows what lies behind the blank faces.

He knows.  He loves.  Oh how He loves.

And in His great love and mercy He has not forgotten them.  Even as they sit and rock right at this very moment He has plans for them.  Our God has a future and a hope for them.  He promises it, so it is so.

I picture God the Father looking down on them with eyes so full of love He can’t contain himself. I see his eyes brimming over with tears at the pain and suffering they have endured.  But I hear him whisper ever so softly, “Don’t you worry sweet baby.  Daddy’s here and it’s all going to be okay.”

The infinite value of a life.  

A young woman heads to work on the subway, her favorite music keeping her company along the way.  She looks at all the strangers around her and feels small.  A man pulls his truck in to the parking lot at his office, right on time despite the traffic.  Another day, another dollar.  A harried mom makes lunches and checks homework and ties shoelaces before hustling her brood out the door.  An old man, nearing the end of his days, waits for his caregiver to come help him in to his chair so he can peruse the morning news.  Oh how he wishes he could still do it himself.  It’s hard to have to rely on others.  A teacher welcomes her class with a smile- yet behind the smile she wonders if she is really making a difference and how she will manage to make it through another day.  A Grandma, a taxi driver, a teenager, a child, a seamstress…

…and you.

Each one infinitely valuable.  Each one made with a purpose and for a purpose.

Oh how He loves.

From the weakest boy at our orphanage to the strongest and most alive among you- God sees you and He knows you.  He created you with so much value.  What will you do with it?

You have choices and abilities and loves and talents.  How will you use them?

Will you use your life as a yes to God?  Will you let Him use you fully as you He intended you to be?  Can you imagine how beautiful that would be?  -If each of us lived our lives fully as God intended.  If we each invested the value of our lives in to God’s Kingdom and in to the ones who have no choices- the lost and forgotten, the discarded ones.

Please don’t dismiss your value.  Don’t squander this life you’ve been given.  It’s such a great gift!  Maybe today it seems really hard.  Maybe today you don’t feel you have much value.  Maybe you’ve squandered your days and live with regret.

I picture God the Father looking down on you with eyes so full of love He can’t contain himself. I see his eyes brimming over with tears at the pain and suffering you have endured.  But I hear him whisper ever so softly, “Don’t you worry sweet baby.  Daddy’s here and it’s all going to be okay.”

It’s never too late to say yes to God.

Your life has immense value.  Spend wisely today, would you?  I guarantee you won’t regret it.

 

 

 

 

 

Keeping up with the Joneses

Do you live in one of those neighborhoods where it seems like each guy is trying to outdo the rest of the block with his lawn care?

You know what I mean.

“I noticed Jim and Nancy put in some fresh bark chips and a row of boxwoods. I think I better go ahead and put the lighted fountain in that I was planning to do last year.” “Honey, make sure to use solar powered lighting like Russ and Deb have. We want people to know we care…. well, about the environment and all.”

As I fell asleep a couple nights ago, I distinctly heard God ask me to study Nehemiah. Not read it, not skim through and look for “life verse” to put on the fridge. STUDY Nehemiah.

I’ll get back to that.

The Johnson clan has been on the road for the last couple weeks, sharing the vision of Wide Awake International.

I left Kim and the kids in Montana, with my sister, and took a little jaunt to Colorado Springs to share with our dear friends at New Life Downtown and to attend a Missional Leaders Meeting with our group of churches.

I have been surrounded by beauty all week near Garden of the Gods.

I have truly met some amazing heroes. One couple, named Paul and Kristen, have been loving on orphans with special needs in Bolivia. They take them in to their home, get them medical care and love on them. They have been doing this for years, under the radar. Absolute heroes.

Another woman has been taking physical therapists and piles of wheelchairs into Kazakhstan, outfitting people with wheelchairs that fit their body and help them be mobile. Fantastic!

While we have known Tri and Nancy Robinson with i-61 Ministries, I have had the joy of meeting Sergio and Michael, who tirelessly work to mobilize people, passion, resources and the education needed to address injustice across the world. Intensity!

I wish I would have taken a picture of these folks and so many more. I want you to see the fire in their eyes. These people have given up everything to bring Dignity, Hope and Love to the marginalized, counted out and the broken. Heroic!

Well back to Nehemiah and the Landscaping.

On my first read through the book, I wondered if all the different families were just trying to keep up with the Joneses as they started to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem.

“Did you see Eliakim and his kids out there this morning? I can’t leave my section of the wall all tore down if they are gonna build their section. What will the neighbors think?”

Who knows? That is why I am studying the book, I guess.

All I know is that as I have been meeting all these amazing people, I have realized there are many people like Kim and I who have sold everything to address the inhumanity that spans the globe. There are people, just like us, who won’t wait another minute to do something about the injustice that breaks the heart of God.

I have met the “Joneses” that I want to try to keep up with. I have seen the hands of Jesus in the hearts of great people who are loving their neighbor.  They are heroes, each one.

A Little Slice of Heaven

Yesterday was perfection. Yesterday was one of those days where you look around and wonder how in the world you got to where you are and try really, really hard to take in every single moment so you can treasure it forever.

Yesterday we, and the couple who are hosting us spent the day waaaaaay out in the boonies of Idaho at Tri and Nancy Robinson’s ranch, Timber Butte. Tri was the founding pastor of Boise Vineyard back in 1989, and he had Nancy are ranchers extraordinaire. Tri is also the founder of I-61 ministries, a part of Vineyard Missions.

Homemade ice cream!

The ministry of i-61 is a highway to do the ministry of Isaiah 61, fulfilling this commission to care for the broken, the oppressed, the captive and the extreme poor under the promised anointing of the Holy Spirit. It is an organized effort to train and send authentic disciples to those Jesus referred to as ‘the least of these’.”

Addy could have stayed in that little spot all day!

When I met Tri at the Vineyard Conference in Anaheim I quickly saw that I-61 is where Wide Awake International and the Johnson family fit within the Vineyard Missions family. These are our peeps. Tri and Nancy are all about justice, mercy, compassion, and going to the forgotten. Not only that, but they were homeschooling in California back in the day when some people didn’t even think it was legal, and started a homeschool co-op to try to help other parents, raised their kids an hour out of town with no electricity, packed their kids out on horses and homeschooled in tents. Oh man, I think I found my heroes. 🙂

We spent the day with great people, eating great food, and having great conversation. Not to mention my kids thought they’d died and gone to heaven. Thank you Tri, Nancy, Rand, Lori, Gary, and Lynette for such a perfect and special day! We will never forget our time together.

The Guest House

I big boy! I feed the sheep!

Good Gifts

“The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  
He will take great delight in you, 
he will quiet you with his love, 
he will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17
You know that feeling when you’re about to surprise your kids with something they really love?  I don’t know about you, but when I know I’m about to bring my kids joy I can hardly contain myself.  I get so excited, looking forward to their reaction- the squeals (or screams) of joy, the huge smiles, the knocking-over-with-force hugs.  The fun things in life are that much more fun when I get to watch my kids enjoy them.  I delight in my children.  Greatly.
Yesterday I learned that no matter if my kids are small or grown, that delight in watching their joy won’t end.  The same with our God.  He delights in us, His kids.  He LOVES bringing us joy and giving us good gifts.
So, I’m here in Anaheim for the National Vineyard Conference.  When my dad heard I was heading to Anaheim for this thing and we would be arriving a couple days early, he asked the burning question, “Are you going to Disneyland?”  Well, if you know me at all you know that I absolutely ADORE Disneyland.  I can’t even adequately describe to you my love for all things Disneyland.  I love everything about it.  It’s my most favorite place ever.  But, we were just given a trip to Disneyland in March and we’re trying to pinch every penny to save for our big move, so I didn’t think I could justify spending the money for a day in Disneyland.  My dad, delighting in his grown-up daughter simply replied, “Oh, you’re going to Disneyland!”  He said if I could find a way to get there he would pay my way to spend the day.  You should have seen the grin on his face when he saw my joy.  Dad’s love giving good gifts to their kids.  
So, the question remained, “how would I get to Disneyland?”  I was coming to the conference with our pastor (Lanny), his wife (Anne), and their two grown daughters (Christen and Abby).  I knew I wouldn’t have a car, so I would just have to wait and see if it worked out.  We arrived in Anaheim and realized the little condo we are staying in is literally RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET from Disneyland!!!!  Shut the front door!!!  Case closed.  Disneyland was definitely happening on Sunday.  (Plus the wifi password at the condo is “TO DISNEYLAND”.  I took that as another sign.)  😉 
On Saturday night as I prepared for Disney I was super excited, but a tad bummed that I was going by myself.  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I could enjoy Disneyland alone- no problem.  But, I did realize it’s much more fun to share your joy with someone else.  Annnnddddd the love of parents stepped in again.  Abby, Christen, and I were in the bedroom chatting and Anne walked in and asked the girls “Do you guys want to go to Disneyland with Kim in the morning?”  You should have seen the looks on their faces.  “Ummm OF COURSE!”  Anne let the girls know they would pay for them to go to Disneyland in the morning.  No matter what the age, parents love delighting in their children and giving them good gifts.  (I may, or may not have been jumping on the bed with joy…)

I know you might find it cheesy for me to use Disneyland to talk about the Father God’s love for His kids, but if you do, you don’t know me well enough, or understand the extent of my love for Disneyland.  🙂 When we were on Space Mountain I was just laughing- out loud!  I could not believe God gave me that opportunity before we head to Ukraine.  Before heading to Anaheim I actually had quite a bit of nervousness and anxiety about attending the conference.  I felt like “Who am I?  What business do I have attending this conference and chatting with other missions folks?  What makes me think they’ll be interested in what we’re doing?”  Well, Jed put me in my place about that.  He reminded me again that it’s not about us or our abilities.  It’s about obedience to The Lord.  All we have to do is say yes and tell our story.  The rest is up to Him!  This has never been about our abilities or lack thereof.  This is about what God is doing and His ability. 

When I was on Space Mountain I felt like God was saying, “Look at what I’ve given you today!  I am taking care of every single detail.  I love you and I love delighting in you and watching you laugh.  I delight just as much in my children in Ukraine in their cribs.  I’m their Father and I want to give them good gifts.  You don’t worry.  No one will stand in my way.  I’m gonna give my babies good gifts and delight over them with singing- and I’m going to love every minute of it.  The joy you feel right now is just a glimpse of the joy that’s on its way.” Oh my word.  It brought me to tears.  I don’t care how cheesy it sounds, God spoke to me on Space Mountain in a big way and I won’t be the same.  

Today, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, know that YOUR Father in heaven delights in you.  He loves you.  He rejoices over you with singing.  Maybe things are rough for you.  Maybe you feel like you have nothing to be joyful about.  Maybe you think “Easy for you to say, Kim.  You don’t know hardship!”  Maybe I don’t know your hardship.  Maybe I’ve never experienced the pain you’ve experienced, but I’ve experienced the delight of the Father- and He is your Father too.   I know His Word is true.  If He can bring joy and delight to children wasting away in cribs, and He promises to do that, He can bring joy and delight to you.  Fix your eyes on Him and allow Him to father you.  This is not about your ability.  This is about God’s ability and His great, never-stopping, overflowing, abounding love for you.  I see Him with a big ol’ grin on His face.  That grin is for you just as much as it’s for me.  
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” 
James 1:17

Our Baby

Our hearts are full to bursting!


My view from here

Our Wide Awake event happened on Friday night and I’m not sure I’ve stopped smiling since.  


Jed and I were talking afterward about how we felt.  The best way I could think to describe my feelings was like one of the feelings you get when you have your first baby.  Of course when Addy was born I thought she was the cutest newborn ever (don’t even try to argue with me, I’ll win).  But there was a special feeling that filled my heart when other peopled oooo’d and ahhhh’d over her.  I would think she was cute regardless of other opinions, but when other people loved my baby it felt like a different kind of amazing.  “They love my baby!  They think she’s something special!”

That’s totally how Friday night felt for us, x 100.  

Wide Awake is like our baby.  Wide Awake represents all the forgotten babies on the other side of the world who have captured our hearts.  Of course we think Wide Awake is something special (we better or else we have no business selling all our stuff and moving to Ukraine!), of course we think the plight of the disabled orphans is something big and important, of course we think those faces in our video and our powerpoint are beautiful and valuable, regardless of what others may think.  God put that love in our hearts!  It all comes from Him.

Perty yard

BUT, on Friday night people oooo’d and ahhhh’d over our babies.  People were loving our babies and it felt amazing.  “They love our baby!  They think it’s something special!”  🙂


When you see people valuing what you value it brings hope.
When you see people sharing your event with all their friends and asking thoughtful questions you feel thankful.  
When you see people driving 3 hours because they love you and they are excited about what God is doing it makes you cry.

We had a fantastic turnout on Friday and we could not be more humbled and thankful.  


Thank you a million times over to every single person who came!
Thank you to those who invited a friend!
Thank you to those of you who gave generously of your time to drive over mountains to get there.
Thank you to those who gave generous donations!  Blown away.  Woohooooooo!

God is so faithful.  His love NEVER fails.  

Happy Father’s Day to Jed!  He is seriously amazing.  Yes, I’m biased, and yes, I’m right.