Family | Wide Awake Family

Addy’s View

Posted on February 9, 2013 by kimnjed

I can’t believe I’m the parent of a 9-year old. How did that happen? In my mind my age has been permanently stuck at 26. If people ask how old I am, my brain automatically thinks “26”. Weird. I haven’t actually been 26 for 7 years. Although I can’t believe Addy’s 9, I also can’t quite remember living life without being a mom. It’s funny how 9 years of diapers and lack of sleep can wipe out any memories of my former childless life.

Anyway, my baby, Addy, just turned 9 last week. We celebrated with a sleepover, cupcakes, spontaneous dance parties, popcorn, pizza, giggles, and not much sleep. It was perfect.

Our firstborn is pure joy. She’s our learning curve into parenting. She’s our trial by error. She’s my mini-me, minus the worry about what others think. I love that about my Addy.

The past week or so, as I’ve been recovering from the shock that I have a 9-year old, God’s been speaking to me a lot about parenting and intentionality. I have so many thoughts swirling in my brain about preparing our kids for our move, and being present with our kids in general. There’s a blog post brewing about our kids and parenting…but it will take me a while to get my thoughts in a presentable order.

In the mean time, here’s a glimpse of the world from my Addy’s point of view. Addy got a camera from my parents for her birthday. She loves it, and I love seeing the pictures she takes. It’s fun to see what catches her eye, what she considers picture-worthy.

Take a look at Addy’s world 🙂

Self-Portrait

Ezra Pezra

I just LOVE this one…hehe

Heading out for a walk…

Race to Mommy!!

Ready, set, go!!!

RUN RUN RUN!!!!

Ezra says he didn’t push Seth- I think the evidence says otherwise

Poor Seth 🙂

Fancy pants panorama

Yes, Yes, Yes!

Posted on January 25, 2013 by kimnjed

Things are happening! God is moving!

We’ve had some pretty exciting recent developments concerning our move to Ukraine. I can’t share them yet, because things aren’t official, but you better bet I’ll share just as soon as I can.

They like to rub it in

This journey of Yes has been quite the wild ride, and it just keeps getting better!

No matter where you are, no matter what is happening in your life right now, I encourage you to say Yes to Him. Your journey and your Yes will look different than mine, and that is part of the beauty. Just do the next thing that He asks of you. One step at a time, one Yes at a time. Many steps of Yes will make quite amazing journey. I’m sure of it, because that’s the kind of God we serve. There will be bumps, but keep on keepin’ on. Just do the next thing. DO IT!!! My dear friend Sarah put it so beautifully. I literally felt like a cheerleader as I read her post..yes, yes, yes!! The cheers could be heard far and wide. Please take a moment to read her journey of Yes here. You will not regret taking that moment.

To hold you over as you stalk our blog for more info on our move (wah waaaaaaa), enjoy some pictures of life lately along our journey. Here’s to hoping I have great news to share with you soon!!

I’m kind of obsessed with browned butter in cookies. You should try it. Right now.

Look at my new necklace! Nothing like wearing dreams around your neck. Love it.

Look what Daddy brought home! Sugar overload amazingness.


I live in a Lego Factory.

And for your viewing pleasure…Mr. Smarty Pants:

Carried

Posted on January 12, 2013 by kimnjed

Pardon the stream of consciousness blogging, but the main purpose of this blog is to document the journey, and sometimes I just have to spit out my thoughts as they come so I can look back and remember.

So, back in September we sold most of our worldly possessions. Then in October we moved in with Luke. Then came the Holidays. Then came emergency surgery for me. Then came now.

With the emergency surgery came loss. We lost our little baby that day. I wasn’t going to blog about it, but it’s all part of the journey, and I know someday we’ll look back and see God’s hand in it, so I guess I feel like it’s important to say a little something about it here. God’s grace and His hand have covered us so completely the last couple of weeks as we’ve grieved the loss of our baby. We still grieve, and I know that road may be long, but I don’t doubt His great love for us. I don’t doubt His plans for our family- every member of our family- even the precious one in heaven. I don’t doubt the the promises He made and I know He will complete the work He started.

Wonderful friends brought us meals the past week and a half as I recovered from the surgery. One friend from church shared pizza and some beautiful words of encouragement. She said that God is going to fill the empty space in our hearts with a dream.

It’s already happening. I’m dreaming about Ukraine. My heart is broken anew for the little ones who waste away. I grieve for their lost childhoods. I ask Jesus to linger at their bedside and speak tenderly to them as they sleep. I pray for great change to come in Ukraine- hearts to soften, more believers to rise up, greater faith. My heart is broken for my baby, but in that brokenness God is reminding me of what else breaks His heart. He’s filling up the empty space with His dreams.

I know the enemy would have loved to use our great loss to derail us. No way. Not happening. My heart aches for my baby, but my spirit aches for Jesus. Wherever He is going- that’s where I want to be. In my human mind I don’t see how anything good could come from our loss, but in my spirit I know better. I have to trust that He sees and He knows. I see how He has perfectly orchestrated His plans to bring us to this place. He has prepared Jed and I for this since we were children. Our baby has never been beyond His grasp. This was not an “oops” in the heavenlies.

Passion is rising, hope is rising. The pain is there- sometimes so strong it feels suffocating, but hope still rises. I refuse to be derailed. I choose to be changed by this and my heart to be molded by this. As one friend encouraged, I’m “riding the wave”. I’m not muscling my way through the grief, but riding the wave. Trying to rest my soul and mind, doing my best to let God minister to me in the way He knows I need it.

I’m looking forward to the day when I can look back at this and see how He carried us through.
He truly is good. He truly is loving.
He’s got our baby, and heaven looks brighter to me because of it.

My Look Back

Posted on January 6, 2013 by kimnjed

2012. What a year.

I think I can safely say this has been one of the biggest years of my life. I think I can also safely say, based on the happenings of 2012, that the biggest years are yet to come.

Our lives changed so dramatically in 2012 that it’s hard to put myself in the shoes of “January 2012 Kim”.

2012 was a year of God meeting us every step. He spoke to us in 2011 that He has big plans for us and we just need to “keep walking” and He will make the way. My heart is full of thankfulness for how our God kept His promises. He met us, and He continues to meet us.

On March 21, 2012 we welcomed Seth into our family forever. The son of our hearts became our legal son. What a day. I can not imagine our lives without our baby. He is our joy, talking a mile a minute, loving trains, interested in big boy undies (Lord help us!)…our unexpected gift. Sometimes I forget that Seth is adopted and when I’m reminded for some reason and stop in that moment to think about it I simply can not believe he didn’t grow in my belly. He was meant for us in every single way. He fits us like a glove and we fit him. God met us in the hospital 2 years ago when we first met our baby, and He met us in the courtroom that precious day when He gave us our baby for keeps. Thank you Jesus for our sweet boy. Yay 2012!!!

April 2012 brought life changes in extreme measure. April wins the trophy for my favorite month of 2012. We spent the month in Ukraine and we will never ever be the same. God met us there. He met us in the moment we stepped off the plane and awkwardly made our way to our hostel with the help of random kind strangers. He met us in the walls of Romaniv orphanage where our eyes met and we realized what we were created for. He met us in the courtyard of the Lost Boys institution where we locked eyes and hearts with the boys whose lives grabbed our attention those many months before. He met us in the moments of friendship and laughter with Ukrainian believers He placed in our path. He gave us friends for life in Kiev, Zhitomir, Odessa, and Kremenchug. Every step we took along that journey was ordained by Him. Thank you Jesus for your faithfulness and your voice that guides our every step.

The summer of 2012 brought the beautiful gift of friendship. New friends invaded our hearts and for that I weep with gratitude and a HUGE smile on my face. We are loved by many, and for that I can’t thank Him enough. God answered so many prayers with friends this year. He knows just what we need. 🙂

In September we sold off loads of our stuff. God met us in that moment in a big way. We had asked God to show us where we would live so we could save up money for Ukraine. The night before our garage sale He sent our wonderful, generous friend Luke to offer his home to us for free. We stepped. He met us. He is too good. He is too faithful.

October 2012 saw us moving in with Luke and securing renters for our house with a 5-year lease (HA!). Again, He met us. Again, overflowing faithfulness, overflowing goodness.

December 2012. From the inside looking out it’s hard to know what to say about this month. We’ve experienced great personal loss and sadness this month and some moments the sadness feels almost suffocating. My heart aches and my soul hurts…but then I look back. I recount what the Lord has done. I see how He met us every step along this crazy roller coaster of a year. Will He not meet us now? The word He spoke to us at the end of 2011 is still the word for us today: “Keep walking and I will make the way”. This unexpected turn in our path is not an exception to that word. Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever. Look and see what the Lord has done!! His promises remain and His goodness remains.

Now we look forward to 2013. My mind can’t even fathom the plans He has in store for this year. I’m not even going to try and figure it out. 🙂 I’m just going to say “yes” to Him every day and see what comes of it. When my heart wants to bury itself in sadness I lift up my eyes and remember this past year. I look at my 4 babies and my beautiful husband, and my heart soars with gratitude for my God and His overflowing faithfulness and goodness.

I trust you Jesus. Whatever you want to do with us this year- you do it. We are yours and I mean that. I mean it with every fiber of my being. I don’t want to live for myself and my good ideas. I don’t want to live the version of my life that seems right and comfy to me. I want to be spent for You. I’ll let You decide how that should look.

So here’s to 2013! May we live with our hope in Jesus and may we spend ourselves for Him.

Christmas!!!

Posted on December 30, 2012 by kimnjed

Christmas was absolutely fabulous. So much love, so much fun, so much family, so much yummy food, so many Legos. My heart is full. We are the most blessed people EVER.

This Christmas was all about thankfulness.
I’m thankful that God knows what He’s doing and His plans are better than our best ideas.
I’m so thankful for my so-wonderful-I-totally-don’t-deserve-him Jed. He blesses my socks off every.single.day.
I’m beyond thankful for my 4 blessings asleep in their beds. I’m also thankful they’re finally asleep! My kids are overflowing with joy. They are pretty easily amused, so Christmas with them is like one big screamfest (in a good way!).
I’m thankful for loving friends God has gifted to us. Blessed.
I’m very, very thankful for my wonderful family. Days full of time with family make my heart sing.
I’m thankful for God’s never ending, unstoppable love. When I think I know best and stubbornly run in my own direction, He lovingly guides me back to His path. His goodness humbles me.

Thanks God! Thank you for your Son. Thank you for your Love.

Merry Christmas (a little late– but better late than never) from our family to yours!

I‘m no photographer, but here‘s my attempt at a Christmas picture of our kiddos. Maybe someday I’ll be less of a procrastinator and will actually send out a Christmas card…maybe. 🙂
Warning: picture overload ahead. Proceed with caution.